The end of the year can make my clients feel like they didn’t do enough, like they failed, or like they’re never going to make their dreams come true. I get it, it’s a totally normal reaction to the end of the year. But stewing in these feelings is not going to help us manifest our most amazing lives. 

There’s no ignoring these feelings; we have to work through them in order to feel better. And that means facing them head-on and confronting your triggered self in order to help her. And we can do it, together. 

In this week’s episode, we’re talking about end-of-year anxiety and what to do when you’re feeling triggered, tired, and behind. Again, these are totally normal feelings. They’re there to let us know that we still want more for ourselves. So let’s work through this anxiety so we can start manifesting our best year yet! 

Resources Mentioned:
Click here to claim your Manifest Your Marca bot!

Follow Erika on:
Instagram @‌theerikacruz
TikTok @‌theerikacruz
LinkedIn

Website:
http://www.theerikacruz.com

How to work with Erika:

Join the waitlist for the Courage Driven Latina program here!

Join the waitlist for the Magnetic Mastermind here!

Podcast production for this episode was provided by CCST, an Afro-Latina-owned boutique podcast production and copywriting studio. 

Episode Transcript:

(Final Video) EP. 216: End-of-Year Anxiety: What to Do When You’re Triggered, Tired, and Feeling Behind

Erika: [00:00:00] We’re shoulding all over ourselves. And this word should, in my mind, is such a bad word because, oh, I should have done this. I should have known that. And the truth is like we knew what we knew, we did what we did, and we can’t change the past no matter how much we overthink it, no matter how much we focus on it.

And the key to easing this end of year anxiety that we feel is.

Welcome to the Chingona Revolution podcast, where we will bring out your inner badass Latina, overcome self-doubt, help you gain clarity and pave your own path, all while leading with courage. I am your host, Latina coach and speaker Erica Cruz.

Hello. Hello. Welcome back to this week’s episode of Chin Revolution Podcast. This is your host, Erika [00:01:00] Cruz. Happy. December, can you believe that? We are already in December? I feel like this year just totally flew by and I wanted to talk to you all about a common theme that I’m seeing with my own friends, with myself, with clients, and that is this end of year anxiety, this feeling of, I should be further along this feeling of I’m getting really triggered as I’m spending time around family.

This feeling of almost like perfectionism or I really wanna give my all this upcoming year and how this is a sign that you are healing, you’re evolving. And holiday seasons really can be a mirror to us because we are around our childhood wounds more than we are any other time of the year. So what I mean by this is when we are. At family gatherings, when we have family in town, it can really [00:02:00] surface up a lot of our childhood wounds. And the reason is that, um, psychologists and and therapists talk about regression. So whenever we are around our family, we, we don’t. We don’t go to, we don’t act the age that we are in present moment, we become the age of that trigger.

So let’s say that you were constantly talked down to as a kid and now you’re an adult, right? And now you know the power of your voice, but suddenly when you’re around your mom or your dad or your sibling. That trigger comes back up and you’d suddenly get way more reactive. Or maybe you are thinking, okay, last year when I was at this same gathering, I said I was going to do X, Y, and Z, and you’re beating yourself up because you haven’t taken as much action as you thought you would.

Or maybe you feel like you’re still in the same place, or maybe you have set these goals for yourself for the year, and you’re like, oh, there’s all these things I want to do, and I’m so excited about [00:03:00] the upcoming year. But I feel behind. I want you to know you are not alone. This is something that is not just happening with myself.

It’s happening with some of my friends as well. You are not alone. This is a very common thing. This end of the year, anxiety, end of the year kind of tallying up, like how did the year go? What do I want to do in the next year?

Am I proud of my year? And like, let’s be honest, y’all, if you are a woman of color, if you are Latina, chances are you’re kind of beating yourself up regardless. Even if you had a successful year. We tend to be so hard on ourselves about having about. Should having done more right? Like we’re shoulding all over ourselves and this word should, in my mind, is such a bad word because, oh, I should have done this.

I should have known that. And the truth is like we knew what we knew, we did what we did, and we can’t change the past. No matter how much we overthink it, no matter how much we focus [00:04:00] on it. And the key to easing this end of year anxiety that we feel is what I was talking to my mastermind clients about just like last week, and it’s what I call the three C’s.

And the three Cs are. The first one is curiosity. Getting really curious about this trigger about what? What is making you feel uneasy right now? Because typically it’s not your adult self, it’s not your higher self that’s triggered. It’s usually your inner child that’s triggered. It’s usually maybe, a part that’s triggered.

And if you’re familiar with, it’s called Internal Family Therapy. IFS, I think Internal Family Systems, which is like parts work. Gabby Bernstein has a book called Self-Help, which is focused on this. My somatic therapist kind of focuses on this, but pretty much what this concept is, is that we have different parts within us.

That can get really activated and a lot of times these are just like our younger parts that are really looking to protect [00:05:00] us and in the act of protecting us can cause us to feel a ton of anxiety or can almost like self-sabotage and this is not our adult. Self, it is the triggered self. So the end of year can trigger all of these different parts. And if you find yourself in this place where you’re like, okay, I said I was going to going to do X, Y, and Z, or I have this family gathering coming up. So if you’re feeling anything that’s anxiety, scarcity, anger, these are all typically parts. And the way that we kind of reframe that, the way that we. Address these parts are what, what I call the three C’s. And there there’s a few more I, I’ve just simplified it for my clients. But the first one is curiosity. Like why is this younger part triggered part, what’s actually going on with them and what do they need?

So I want you to think about whatever it is that is causing you anxiety right now or. I should be further [00:06:00] along or any of those stories. So think about where you’re feeling uneasy if you are, and if you’re not amazing, amazing. Maybe listen to this for a future time when you don’t feel that way. think about, okay, like where am I beating myself up right now?

Where am I not being that nice to myself? And then we wanna get really curious. So that’s what the first C is. And what you want to ask, and you can do this in your journal, you can sit and you can close your eyes and you can ask this, but the the curiosity aspect, the questions you can ask is, what do you want me to know?

And just ask yourself that internally. I, I know it sounds a little wild, but once you do it, things will come up and it will sound maybe like your own voice, but trust that. So, let me give you an example. I didn’t even think about examples for this podcast episode because I really wanted to get it out and I wanted to get it out on time, and I’m traveling right now.

But I was like, you know what? We’re going to at least do a short and sweet episode. So here we are doing the short and sweet episode and doing it imperfectly because end of the year [00:07:00] perfectionism can totally come up. And done is better than perfect and I am getting it done right now and I still think this is going to be such a valuable episode for you.

But this curiosity, so, okay, I’ll give you an example. For me. I have a lot of things that I’m changing in my business right now, but it’s also the holiday season. I had this trip planned. I’m currently on my trip and I don’t have five hours in the day to sit down and work on my business because I’ve already decided to go on this trip.

I’ve already paid for it this trip. So there’s a part of me that’s saying, we’re not doing enough, and there’s a part of me that’s feeling. Guilty and feeling a lot of anxiety and it’s saying the end of the year is coming up or falling behind and these are all of the different things that are coming up.

And as I sat and asked myself last night in my journal, what is it that’s really coming up for you? What is it that you want me to know? What, what’s happening? I’m just getting very curious and what came up for me was that I need to [00:08:00] do and I need to perform or else. I am not good enough or else I’m going to fail.

So the anxiety was around productivity and getting things done, and taking action, action, action, which is very. You know, it makes sense. It makes sense. Maybe growing up we were taught that we needed to be productive and that’s definitely what I was taught growing up. I was definitely taught that, rest was not productive and it was important to get things done, and it was important to get ahead, and it was important to be the hardest working person in the room.

And if you don’t work hard, you’re not going to be successful. So these are all the narratives, right? Which now being around a family around this time can totally come up again. Another, trigger that’s been coming up is that my needs don’t matter, and I think it’s because I have different needs than other people around me, than my family members.

And the truth is, I’m an adult now and I can fulfill my own needs, but because it’s the holiday season, because I’m spending time around family, these triggers can be [00:09:00] more front and center, or even just the way that my brother is treated differently than the way that I’m treated by,Family members, right?

Because he’s, he’s a guy. So like all of these different triggers are coming up for me, and by me getting curious and asking like, okay, what’s coming up for you, inner child? What’s coming up for you? Little self? What’s coming up for you? Wounded Erika and all of these narratives came up for me. All of these different stories.

[00:10:00] [00:11:00] [00:12:00] 

Erika: So then the next step after getting curious, because after you’re curious, that’s the first step is awareness. And you’re like, oh, wow. And I also want to be, very clear, this is non-judgmental curiosity. So like, ask the questions and you don’t have to do anything with them yet you just, you want your inner child to feel safe with you and you’re like, this is weird.

I understand if you’ve never done this before, it can feel weird, but trust me, this is life changing work and this is what has supported me. Over the last five years of being an entrepreneur, it’s what supported a big part of my healing journey, and you just have a wounded part within you. We all have many [00:13:00] parts.

We all have different parts of us that can come up in different circumstances. So again, that first step is curiosity, un non-judgmental curiosity, and you just want your inner child to feel safe to tell you whatever it is that’s coming up for them. And you’re not sharing this with anybody, you’re just sharing this with yourself.

The next C is compassion. So what you’re going to do in this next step is validate your. We’re really going imperfect here. My little, uh, camera, my little light just died on me. But you know what, it’s a Okay, wait. We’re just gonna go without, without additional lighting here. But you want to be curious about this part and, and after you’ve identified what it is that’s coming up for them, then you want to.

Offer compassion. So for me, with my inner child, it would be like, it makes so much sense that you are feeling anxiety because it’s the end of the year. You hollow have all of these ideas for your business. You wanna execute [00:14:00] them, but you’re also busy. And this all makes so much sense and there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling anxiety.

And that already kind of makes my shoulders drop, like it makes me feel so much more at ease or with my needs, you know, it’s. Other people have different needs than you do, and that’s totally okay. Um, but that doesn’t mean your needs are not valid. It’s okay that you need more rest. It’s okay that you need time to be creative.

There’s nothing wrong with you. It makes so much sense that you feel like something might be wrong with you if other people are operating at a way more, quote unquote productive level and don’t need as much sleep as you, but it makes so much sense that this is causing you distress. But you and your needs are so valid.

So that is step one and step two, curiosity, compassion. Step three is coaching. So if you’re one of my clients, this is where I would kind of self coach. And this third C is all about reframing. So [00:15:00] first you’re understanding what’s coming up, and then you’re offering compassion for what’s coming up. You’re not trying to fix it, but then you’re offering coaching.

And coaching isn’t about gaslighting your inner child. It’s not about saying, why are you feeling that way? You shouldn’t feel that way. It’s more about saying, okay. I understand what you’re going through. It makes so much sense. What do we wanna do? Knowing that this makes so much sense and it’s, it’s really reframing in a beautiful way rather than gaslighting of whatever.

It’s the past. You can’t do anything now, just move forward. That’s not a productive way, of coaching. It’s more so let’s say, let’s go back to my two triggers. ’cause I, I think that makes sense. Let’s keep going through the examples. So the first trigger of, I need to be doing more, the coaching could be, if you only had the amount of time you had, what would make sense for you to do right now?

And how can you be [00:16:00] okay with not doing everything? So this podcast episode is a perfect example. I allowed myself to record this podcast in a short period of time with my light that just turned off in a hotel room with a bed behind me. And if you’re watching on YouTube, you see the video of this. So I have, that’s how I coached myself.

Done is better than perfect, and it’s okay if it’s not as great as you imagined it in your mind, or with my needs and me needing additional rest. Like, okay, what is it that we can do that’s in our power? And it’s like if people wanna stay up late, you have the power to go to bed whenever you want. You don’t need to wait on anyone else.

Obviously, that sounds very obvious. It sounds very simple, but. Instead of me addressing this wounded inner child version of myself with like, who cares what other people wanna do, do whatever you want. That’s coming from a non-compassionate place that’s coming from a little bit more of a gaslighting place.

So the coaching is like love-based coaching. From this place [00:17:00] that’s compassionate, this place that is curious and this place that is not attacking anybody, especially yourself. It’s really about meeting yourself with love and allowing yourself to move forward in the best way possible. So this holiday season, if you find yourself having end of year anxiety, feeling triggered with your, your family, I highly invite you to test out these three C’s.

Once again, it is curiosity what it is, that’s, what is it that’s coming up for you. What do you need? Compassion, validate what is coming up for this wounded version of yourself. And three, coaching. What is, how is it that you can move forward in a loving, compassionate way to yourself right now? So I hope you found this short but sweet episode valuable.

I want to remind you that I have a freebie, actually, I don’t even know if I’ve said this because I just created it, but.

 I do have a free bot that I’ve created for you all. It is [00:18:00] the Manifest Your Mar bot, which is all about helping you find your personal brand voice, identify your best platform, as well as giving you content ideas. And you’ll also learn kind of what phase of personal branding you’re in, regardless of if you wanna start a business or don’t.

Everybody needs a personal brand, especially in this era of ai. So find that link down below. If all you do from now until the end of the year is do the manifest your Marika bot, honestly, you will have a game plan to start 2026. You’ll have so much, so much clarity that is completely free. Go to the link down below.

All we need is your name, your email, and we’ll you’ll get immediate access to the bot and then we’ll also email it to you. And if you do want to work with me, I am offering a personal branding intensive. The link for that is also down below. And yeah, I think that’s it. I will see you all next week. Happy Holidays.

Happy New Year, and I will see you in 2026. 

[00:19:00] Thank you so much for joining me this week. Make sure to visit the erika cruz.com. That’s Erica with a K where you can subscribe to the show so you’ll never miss an episode. You can help this podcast grow by supporting me with an Apple Podcast rate and review. If you took anything away from this episode, I invite you to take a screenshot and share it on social media so that your favorite badass Latinas can also check it out.

Be sure to tag me at the Erika Cruz. That’s Erica with a K, because you know I wanna see it. If you’re ready to join the revolution and be a part of the courage driven Latina community, visit courage driven latina.com to get more information and join the wait list. Thanks again, and I’ll see you next week.