Chingona Revolution is hosted by Erika Cruz, a rebel who left a 6-figure tech job to pursue her own unconventional path to success by following her passion that led to her purpose. Every week, Erika will bring out of you that BADASS LATINA through her experiences to overcome self-doubt and family expectations and lead with COURAGE.
This week we are highlighting one of the most courageous women I know. Jasmin has known so much pain and loss and she still is finding a way to fight for herself and the life that she knows that she deserves. And with the help of Courage Driven Latina program, I have had the privilege to help her achieve her wildest dreams.
Jasmin is a first generation, Mexican- American who is on the path of healing her inner child and traumas from her adult life. She is a wife, mother, friend, and sister who enjoys having conversations about life and how to make the best out of every situation.
In this week’s episode, Jasmin tells us about the story of her life and all the trauma and loss she’s had to go through. She was abused as a child and forced to still see her abuser, she had parents who didn’t understand her trauma, and as an adult she experienced a devastating miscarriage. After watching one of Erika’s live events, she realized that all the trauma she had experienced had left her dysregulated. She joined the Courage Driven Latina program to work through her trauma, and to learn how to give herself a better life – a life she knew she deserved. Tune in to hear how you can transform your life in less than a year.
TW: Miscarriage, sexual abuse, and family trauma
Connect with Jasmin:
How to work with Erika:
Join the waitlist for Courage Driven Latina here.
Erika: Hello. Hello. Happy February. I wanted to remind you all that we are officially in Courage Week. Courage Week is four days of completely free coaching where you can come and get coached by me where I get to bring out all of my tools, the tools that I use inside of Courage Driven Latina, the frameworks that I use inside of Courage Driven Latina that I’ve gotten hundreds of women results.
I’ve got, it’s. These tools have completely transformed my life. So you get free coaching from me. You get to see a little bit about what it’s like to be coached inside of Courage Driven Latina. And the doors for the program are officially open. They opened yesterday right after the first day of Courage Week.
Make sure that you join us. It is not too late to sign up for courage week. It is so fun. You meet so many amazing people. I mean, I can’t tell you how many people get results just from attending courage week. So I cannot wait to see you there for today’s episode. We have a client that’s been on the podcast before, and it is a very touching, heartwarming, vulnerable.
interview. And I wanted to give you all some trigger warnings and just some disclaimers that we do talk about trauma. We talk about a miscarriage.
We also talk about being sexually abused and overall family trauma.
This client has Taken the tools that she’s learned and ran with them. She’s completely transformed her life in less than a year. She’s almost unrecognizable. So if you are at a point in your life where you feel like things need to change, I want you to listen to this podcast episode because my client is my own inspiration.
She’s such an example of how change is possible for you and how it can happen. And she goes into depth into the different. steps that it took because she started to work with me because she wanted to actually start a business. But before working on the business, she realized, Oh my gosh, I actually have to work on myself.
Right. And a lot of us try to avoid that. I mean, I know I did for a while in my life as well, but even before I could start my business, it took the inner work. And a lot of people that have contacted me about Courage Driven Latina and about the program are like, you know, I’m actually not sure if I want to start a business.
Is this still the program for me? And the answer is yes. I want you to listen to this podcast episode because my client is a perfect example of somebody who has leveraged the program to completely transform the way that she thinks about herself and the way that she shows up in the world. And that has now allowed her to transform her career.
And now the next thing that we’re looking at is building that business, but it’s totally not necessary. Courage Driven Latina now has. paths. We have the confidence path, the content creation path, the career path, and the CEO path. And you get to pick your path. You choose what you do, but because the program is 12 months long, then you get to work on more than one path.
And just listen to this interview. It is such a great success story of somebody who was willing to do the inner work and just. Oh, I can’t wait for you to listen to this interview. So if you know that you want to join Courage Driven Latina, go to the link down below in the show notes. You can secure your spot today or you can join us for Courage Week.
See what’s up. But what I will tell you is that we have a bonus going on this week. So if you sign up for Courage Driven Latina this week while we’re still in Courage Week, then you get access to the program for not only 12 months, which is a year, you get access to the program for 13 months. So that’s a year and a month.
And you also get a free ticket to the Courage Driven Latina event, which is actually happening in May. It was initially happening in March. It’s actually happening in May now, May 25th. In the Los Angeles area, these events always sell out, so if you join us, you are guaranteed a spot at the event.
Okay, can’t wait for you to listen to this interview, and I can’t wait to see you inside of Courage Week and inside of Courage Driven Latina.
Hello. Hello. Welcome back to this week’s episode of Chingona Revolution podcast. Today we have a guest that has been on the podcast before, but so much has changed since the last time we had her on the podcast that I had to bring her back because I feel like there’s nothing cooler than listening to somebody’s story and then listening to them again and just kind of hearing how they can be in such a different place energetically, like from a confidence level.
From a healing perspective. And I am just so excited to have my client on the podcast again. Jasmine Montoya, welcome back. How are
Jasmin: you? Thank you. Thank you. I’m doing well. I’m so happy to be here again with you. I feel really, really happy and honored to be here for a second time.
Erika: Yes. So tell us, and maybe we already talked about this on your first episode because I know your first episode was focused on, inner child healing and being the eldest daughter and just caring so much.
And I think when we recorded that you were like still caring so much, but can you share with us a little bit about Where were you when like our paths crossed and who was Jasmine at that point? And this was almost a year ago because we’re coming up on a year of having worked together. And the whole topic of today is how you can completely change your life and transform your life in under a year.
And you’re the evidence of that. So tell us like if we were to rewind to February of 2023. Where was jasmine?
Jasmin: I was dealing with a lot of anxiety and I didn’t know why. And I thought a lot of it had to do with work, and in part it did, but it was for my own doing of, not putting boundaries, and, I was also, it was, the anxiety had a lot to do with my inner child, and I didn’t even know it.
So I was just full of anxiety. I was sad. I was I guess in a way now that I look at it from the other side. I was depressed. I was still do I was still myself in a way in front of others, but when I was on my own. Or just the feeling, you know, I just was not this. I was not me. I was not the Jasmine that I wanted to be.
For myself, for my family, for my friends, for work, I was not okay. sorry, just thinking about it, it makes me emotional just because, you know, I didn’t, I didn’t realize how not okay I was. And now, it’s like I feel peace, almost. I’m still obviously healing from certain things because a lot of things have come up, but, I’m taking action and like trying to work through it and accept and forgive myself and the people that did me wrong.
but right now I’m just, I’m, I’m happy and I feel calm, a feeling that I did not feel last year at all. so that’s where I was. I was just, anxiety is the word. That defines Jasmine one year ago.
Erika: And, you know, I think it’s so interesting that you mentioned, you didn’t even know, like, how, how bad things were.
Like, our community and our culture sometimes, I feel like anxiety becomes the new norm. Where we’re constantly in this survival mode and it feels like that’s the normal state of being that everyone around us is in. And the state of calm feels something foreign to us. And being in survival mode feels almost natural to us.
Do you think that that’s kind of the experience you were in?
Jasmin: Definitely, definitely. I saw a therapist, last month for my husband’s immigration case. And she’s like, girl, she’s like, you’ve been living with anxiety your whole life. And I, I didn’t know it. I didn’t, I wasn’t aware that that’s what anxiety was.
I think about, I think people when they think about anxiety, they think about like full on like, you know, maybe like anxiety attacks, like not being able to breathe. I don’t know exactly what, but like an exaggerated version. and I, and when she said that to me, I felt like, oh my God, I’m not, I wasn’t crazy to feel like that pressure in my chest.
There was one, a few times where I did have to breathe into a paper bag last year. but. I just, I didn’t know that I was living with anxiety and now that I know that when my system was dysregulated, I have found through your program and therapy, I have found ways to cope, with my anxiety and just a lot of it has to do with creating boundaries for myself and for others.
Erika: Yes, yes. So I remember our conversation when we had our, like, consult call for you to join the program and a big topic was your work environment. And, before we even really were able to address what was going on with work, and then also you briefly mentioned immigration, like, before you could even face what was going on from, like, the immigration side, the first step was really, listening to your inner child and working on your confidence.
Like that was the first kind of step in order to do these things. So I, I feel like people, I’m going to come back to this point. Now I’m taking a little tangent. I feel like people sometimes think that change takes forever. And while change does happen over time, it can also happen like really quickly, right?
Like you’ve completely transformed your life in less than a year, which is not a long time. And. But yet at the same, like on the other side of that token, it’s that you have to take steps at a time, like it wasn’t like from one month to another, everything shifted, and the first thing that happened was the healing and the confidence building.
So, can you tell us a little bit about What happened from a healing perspective when you started when you continued working with your therapist and then whenever you were in the program like what? Obviously you felt anxiety, but what happened that allowed you to start building confidence and that allowed you to begin to set boundaries at work and then eventually the immigration stuff?
Jasmin: Okay, that’s a lot. so with my inner child, I didn’t even know that that was something that I needed to work on until I. Watch one of your workshops. and that I don’t remember the name of it, but it was during one of your workshops and it talked about, your nervous system. And through that video, I know I knew that I was dysregulated and that I had been dysregulated for a very, very long time.
And through that, I was, you know. I had to heal with my, about my child sexual, sexual abuse that I experienced. the fact that my parents didn’t protect me, that was a huge one. especially my dad. I, I still have to see my abuser after they found out. So, dealing with that and then,the resentment that I have towards my mom.
I had so much resentment towards my mom, and now that I have been able to heal, I know that she can only give me what she, you know, what she had received. And some, my husband doesn’t agree with, like, why wouldn’t she say I love you to you? that’s something that I struggled with for a very long time.
I wanted that mother daughter relationship that you would see in the movies, and I didn’t have that. and right now it’s up to me to build that relationship. I still feel like I need to talk to my mom about, you know, like, how I felt as a kid. But I know that she’s not in the right place right now, so I know I’ll get it to her eventually, but I don’t feel that resentment towards her anymore.
Sadness, yes, but not that resentment where I didn’t even want to, like, talk to her. I avoided her. so now That part is done. I feel, I feel okay. I’ll cry about it here and there, you know, when it comes up. Because those feelings don’t really all, you know, go away. The sadness as a kid, that I felt as a kid.
So that’s the inner child and that, that took some time. It took journaling. It took crying. It took a lot of crying. And that’s something that I wouldn’t do because that was a sign of weakness. That’s what I learned as a kid, crying is a sign of weakness. So I would hold it in. and now I’ve, I cry all the time.
but it feels so good. It’s such a good release. and then, you know, like a lot of things obviously happen throughout my life. But the other thing that I did not heal was when I lost my baby. I like repressed it because I wanted to be strong because I didn’t want to show that I was weak because I didn’t want to Accept that I was sad.
I lost a baby. Sorry And I didn’t really have the time to like really
I think I want to say like deal with it because my I lost my baby one week before Christmas in 2019 The same as Blackout, pretty much. So when I met Blackout, sorry, tangent right here. When I met Blackout, we, we both cried. I was like, oh my god, we lost our baby, like, almost the same day. A year apart, but we did.
So, I met someone, you know, that experienced the same thing I did. so I didn’t get a chance to deal with my because it was a few months after losing his name was Misha, we named him Misha. a few months after we lost Misha, COVID happened, and I’m in, I work in healthcare. So, I, I jumped full in, like, through work.
I did it as a way to, like, avoid it, and looking back, I avoided it. and so then COVID happened, and I got busy, and then the following year, I got pregnant, and that’s just another thing that, you know, that affected my mental health, because I was scared throughout my whole pregnancy that I was going to lose this baby, too.
going to the restroom was hard. Am I going to see blood? And if I did, what do I do? Am I losing this baby? Like so many things that I look back and I’m like, Oh my God, I’m a bad ass for living through this. Of course you are. And, I just, I, I give myself now grace, you know, like that everything that I’ve lived through.
I, I was so hard on myself and on my body. And now I’m, I’m just, I’m just so thankful that I’m better now. And sorry, Erica, I lost you with your question.
Erika: No, you’re totally good. I just want to thank you for sharing everything that you shared and leading with vulnerability, especially through things that you are currently working through, because for those of you listening, like one of the things that we learn in Courage Driven Latina is that you cannot have courage without vulnerability.
And it sounds like. through you suppressing vulnerability and suppressing your feelings. It was almost like blocking you from like living your full expression of life and like really leading with courage. And the other thing I want to mention is I’m so sorry that you had to go through like just living with being abused and then having to see your abuser.
that is like, nobody deserves that. Little Jasmine deserved a different. experience. And I just also want to commend where you are. Like, to your point, we’re never going to be done healing, right? And that’s something that we talk about a lot in the program. Like, healing is like an ongoing things because we’re going to come like new things are going to happen that are going to cause, more triggers and more things for us to heal.
But you are in such a beautiful place where you are letting two things exist at the same time where you’re having compassion for your mom, but also knowing that little Jasmine deserved more, right? So you’re not like invalidating yourself, but still expressing compassion. And it really, it’s hard to do that.
So like, I just want to commend you because even the way that you’re speaking is different than whenever we first met. Like, I remember when we first met, your voice was like shaky. Like I could hear the anxiety. In your voice, like you were rushing to get somewhere without really knowing exactly where you were going.
Like, everything was just like, let’s go. And you’re just like, when you jump on the coaching calls and you’re just like, Oh, my family’s going to go camping this weekend. Oh, you know, this is like, I took my time to like, search through emails at work today. It’s just like, you’re like a different person.
Jasmin: I feel a different person.
Like as cliche as it sounds, I feel lighter. just because I’m not carrying all, all these bottled feelings anymore. I’m, you know, I’m letting them go and I’m working through them. And just knowing that,
that, by, by working on yourself and allowing these feelings to come out, you know, a better person is going to come out of this. Yeah. And like so much in this last year, I am packaged. You know, from, like I said, sexual abuse, healing my inner child, the loss of my baby, and then thinking about mistakes that I made, you know, as, as I was younger, and I realized I was carrying guilt and shame.
but at the same time, I’m like, you know what, the Jasmine now would probably not make those mistakes again. wouldn’t make those decisions. And that’s okay. Like, I have to forgive that version of myself. it doesn’t do me any good to be carrying all of this around. so once speaking about it helps and journaling about it.
You know, like, I, I know that I, I know that I made mistakes. I know that I, I’m a better person by letting it go and accepting who I was then and accepting who I am now.
Erika: So, to your point, everybody’s gonna fuck up. Right? Like, everybody’s gonna make mistakes. Like, I literally just fucked up the other day. Like, two days ago. I, like, told all of you about, the event that we’re having in May. But like initially it was going to be in March and then people bought tickets and then I had to change the freaking date and that was just like such a silly mistake.
But like we’re going to make mistakes in our lives, but to your point, we did the best we could with what we had. And what matters is like, how do you Like, because the thing is, we either win or we learn, right? Like, we don’t really ever fail or lose. And the thing is, you probably learn so much from, from your mistakes, and especially through, like, journaling and processing.
And I know that before we started recording, we talked about your experience with journaling, and how maybe it has something you had kind of picked up here and there. But like, tell me how the program has helped you with journaling.
Jasmin: it’s helped me because with, again, I go back a lot to the workshops.
Because you talk, you have such good content, Erica. and so by listening to your workshops, I have stuff to journal about. Because there’s always something, you know, that comes up. so, because for a while I struggled, like, what do I write about? I have nothing to write about. so I started off at first by writing down what I was thankful for.
and now I just, whatever I’m feeling, I write it down. For example, the other day, I was like, I feel resistance to work. Why? Just something as simple as that, like, whatever I’m feeling like physically, I kind of write it down just so that I can go back to it and reread. And then, so it’s just, it’s easier because it became a habit and even if I can’t journal, I have done, I have implemented the self coaching model and if I can’t write because I’m like driving or something, I’ll record and I’ll work through it.
so I actually did that for my
Erika: husband. You’re talking about voice recording, right? Like just on your phone? Okay. Yeah. You did it for your
Jasmin: husband? Yeah. For my husband’s immigration. Because even through, you know, from the beginning that was like my project, to work on it. And so I, like even through your program, I felt resistance.
I’m like, why do I feel such resistance to like work on this? And the resistance that I, that I felt, it was all fear based. All of it, fear, fear, fear of not of me, not having control, and having one person have control in deciding my husband’s future, my future, our family’s future. and that’s, that’s hard for me to accept.
But, you know, like, after working through the self coaching model, like, what’s the worst that can happen? Honestly, like, the worst thing is that he is denied and I get to live in amazing Mexico. Yes, you know, like, oh, I won’t have my family close to me anymore. my friends, no, but I can come over here. The thing is, you know, like, I accepted it, and I have worked through it, and I am letting go.
I’m not going to let this fear control me and hinder our progress for him to get, his residency. I mean, he’s an amazing father, husband, why wouldn’t he get it? So, I’m throwing it out in the universe and to God, like, he’s going to get his God willing, he’s going to get his residency, though. I love
Yeah. Yeah. You are such a badass because you are right. Like this is a circumstance that you have very minimal control over. And sometimes we want to control everything. And the truth is we don’t have that much control. The only thing we have control over is our thoughts, our reactions, our actions, and our overall mindset.
And you really took a tool and implemented it. In a way that served you so well and you essentially have surrendered. Right? Because like, what can you do? And you’ve like found a solution you are. But the thing is, if you would have never done this paperwork that that anxiety was just being delayed. Right?
Because I remember when we first met, you were like, oh, my gosh, this is something I need to do. And it was something that was being delayed because it was uncomfortable. Like, what if it doesn’t work out?
Jasmin: Yeah, and I mean, I mean, I’m still working through it. But the hardest part of it was like me writing my statement, my declaration of how it would affect me if he’s denied or how it would affect me, you know, just all the these different scenarios.
And I was just afraid of losing. I thought that was what they came down to loss, because I have already experienced so much loss. Yeah, especially after I lost my baby. but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to accept that. I didn’t want to lose anything. so yes, like, and I, it was all through the self coaching model that I recorded,
Erika: but I, so many people listening to this have been in a similar situation where like a family member or a partner is undocumented and they’re doing their best to like work this like messed up system.
We have to like get everything, everything. oriented and get every, get, find a solution. And then like, we wonder why our community sometimes like struggles with fear. Well, like a lot of times our community has not been welcomed in this country. Right. So it’s like, it makes sense that it’s hard for us to have, to be seen.
And you’re dealing with this with the father of your child, right? Like your partner in life. And based on working with you, like, I know how much you love your husband and that, like, I can’t even imagine. And I just. I just want to commend you on how well you’ve been able to approach this, this situation.
And you know that like my thoughts and my prayers are with you and your family that everything works out. But I also know that you are a badass, that you’re strong and you’re going to make it work for you regardless, regardless of what the outcome is of this current situation, you’re going to make it work for you.
Jasmin: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the well wishes.
Erika: I hope you are enjoying this week’s episode. I wanted to remind you that this week is Courage Week. It is four days of courage coaching where if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be coached by me, you get free coaching all week long until Thursday.
It is not too late to sign up for Courage Week. Courage Week is completely free. It is sponsored by Courage Driven Latina, which is my signature group coaching program And the doors for Courage Driven Latina are now open. So if you’ve had your eye on this program, which has over a thousand people on the waitlist, if you’ve had your eyes on it, come to Courage Week.
See what it’s like to be coached by me. Get some insight into what goes into the program. Bring coaching questions you have, bring any questions that you have, and I’m happy to answer them. Courage Week is happening. all the way until Thursday this week. So that is February 15th from three o’clock Pacific all the way until four o’clock Pacific.
I may stay over if there’s additional coaching questions, but it’s not too late to register, especially because when you sign up for Courage Driven Latina from Courage Week, not only do you get Courage Driven Latina for 13 months instead of 12,
You get a free ticket to the Courage Driven Latina event, which is happening in person in Los Angeles That is the way to get into this event. So if you know that you want to meet other Courage Driven Latinas in real life and give them a hug and have this amazing community, make sure that you sign up within Courage Week.
All right, y’all, let’s get back to the show and I can’t wait to see you there.
Yes. So, before we jumped on, we were talking about how you’ve been in Courage Driven Latina for almost a year because you joined one round, which was just three months. And now you’re in the year long program. So you’re going to be in it for a total of like, what is that?
If there’s 12 months in the year. And then, so you’re going to be in it for a total of 15 months. And thank you. I’m not that great at mental math, but we made it work. And you were just like, thank you for the comments about the curriculum because you were in the videos and the workshops because you were in the program before the new curriculum.
But as like, we just redid all of the curriculum and now we have different paths and the paths are. Confidence, career, content creation, and then CEO. And even though we didn’t officially call these like paths at that point, your journey through the program has been through the confidence path and like healing, right?
So healing slash confidence. And then Like, you’ve completely transformed your relationship with your job and your career. Like, you went from being completely burnt out to setting boundaries, like taking time off, much needed time off that you didn’t get, to setting boundaries. And like, I don’t think I’ve heard you complain about your job once since you came back.
So can you give us a little bit more context there? What happened? Okay, so
Jasmin: I was burnt out and, I hadn’t even thought about taking a leave of absence from work until, again, your program. I think you mentioned it or someone mentioned it and I was like, Oh, I can do that. So I, I decided to take a leave of absence.
and. Normally, the state of California, like, you can take three. I don’t know about other states. and if you need to take an extension, you have to go, you know, through your doctors and, request, like, an extension. And I did that because I felt like three months was not going to be enough. and my therapist also suggested, you know, take a year and I’m like, Ooh, that seems a little much, but so I took five months.
and I know that I knew before going in that I needed to create boundaries mostly for myself. I was blaming work, but it was all on me, Erica. Honestly, it was all on me because I was the one doing more than I could. and not saying no or not asking questions. Especially I was not asking for help and that’s this came up recently at work as well.
and so I just, so the first thing that I’m doing for sure is that I am now taking a lunch before I would work through. during my lunch, I go and I walk half for half an hour and I’m either listening to your podcast or I am listening to the workshops or just something along the lines of that.
Something that will call me or, so that’s, that’s one thing. And then the second thing is at four, I’m done. I’m done before I would be like, I just need to finish this one more thing. Oh, I need to finish this and I need to do this. And so it was all on me. It was, you know, my choices, my poor choices were leading me to burn out with work.
And now, I’m just. I’m just doing what I can. I’m not going above and beyond. and I do have a wonderful manager who’s like, okay, Jasmine, you’re done. We met before I went back to work and she’s like, you just have to, you know, it’s a job. You just have to do what you can. and so I just, one, I’m so thankful for my manager and my coworkers that reached out to me when I was out on leave.
Honestly, those coworkers have become more friends because they checked up on me several times. and so that, that just brought so much joy to my heart because they were really, they really care about my well being. they took me out to lunch. and yeah, and so. And then when I came back, they was like, they did like a welcome back thing and everything like that.
So, yes. Yeah. So honestly, it was my choices that led me to burnout. And now that I, you know, through your program, I now know, you know what? I need to create boundaries. And aside from creating boundaries, I need to respect my own boundaries. Yeah, that’s the key right there. Respecting the boundaries that I set.
And if I ever feel like, oh my gosh, I just need to feel this. I need to finish this. I’m like, okay, no, no, no. You’re done. It’s four. You did what you could during those nine hours, and you’re done.
Erika: Yes, and you know, you actually inspired, one of the videos in the career path. So each path has a section of videos underneath it, and you inspired the one about how to advocate for yourself at work.
Set boundaries and honor your boundaries and it’s all about like, are you in a work environment that’s really toxic or are you putting yourself in an environment that’s toxic for yourself and how can you begin to advocate for yourself because to your point? You know, like they did a going away party for you and then a welcome back party, right?
Like your colleagues really like you and most of us are in an environment where people like actually like us. But the thing is people aren’t mind readers and sometimes we get frustrated with we’re like when we’re like, oh my gosh, don’t they see me overworking? Well, no, they don’t really know what’s going on over here.
So it’s important. for us to be able to advocate for ourselves and share like, Hey, there’s a lot on my plate right now. Or, Hey, I’m going to need help with this. Or, Hey, I actually need a little bit more time for this. Or, Hey, you gave me these five priorities, which are these five projects, which one’s the priority, which one should I focus on first?
And then that way, you know, what to get done first. And then when it’s four o’clock, you can clock out. So I’m curious. So thank you for inspiring that video. Cause I think it’s going to help so many people. but now I’m curious, like advocating for yourself at work, how has that maybe spilled over to your personal life?
Jasmin: Oh, for bringing that up. Yes. so on my personal life, I would try and do everything. my husband helps me out a lot. Even before this, he, you know, he would help me with cooking, laundry, everything like that. but it’s just simple things where I would just, Oh, I’m going to do this. I’m going to do that.
Like adding so many things to my mental list. And then, you know, that it just carries over. so now I’m like, Hey, can you, can you take care of this? It just, that was so hard for me to do before. I’d like, there was resistance and I’m like, okay, why, why did I feel that resistance? And it’s because when Asking for help is weakness.
That’s how, that’s, that’s how I saw it. thinking back, that’s probably what I learned from my parents. Asking for help is weakness. And now, like, it’s, it’s only for my own good. It’s for my own health. That, I need to ask for help. I can’t do it all. Yes, I’m a badass, but I don’t need to do it all. so it’s just, it’s created, it’s made me a better, I want to say a better and more patient, like wife.
Yeah. Because I’m not making him mind read, asking for help. and now he knows what I need help with. I just had the discussion with him, I want to say yesterday or the day before. I’m like, hey, can you help me with this? and he’s like, oh, you know, we just talked about it, but you know, that for me was huge, you know, asking for help.
And it seems so simple. But I didn’t do it. And so, yes, that’s part of the confidence to asking for help. I was still struggling in that part with work. and they came up this week. So it’s funny that you mention it. But now I’m like, you know what, I messed up. I should have asked you for help. that’s the other part.
Like, you know, like, admitting when you’re wrong and then admitting that, you know, you need the help. Because, um, You can avoid so much, like, anguish, internal anguish by asking
Erika: for help. Yeah, and you know, I think you were, you were alluding to this as well, where if we don’t ask for help and then we end up resentful, we’re not even a good partner or a good employee or like a good co worker at that point.
So, how can, like, asking for help? Also benefit the person who’s helping you, right? Like, I’m sure your husband feels like so much more valued and appreciated knowing he’s helping you and like, cause it’s a partnership, right? It’s not just like you’re you and I’m me and like, I’m just going to handle everything that I need to do.
Like, no, like you, you help each other and like that brings you closer together rather than like not asking for what you need and then being resentful cause they’re not doing it.
So, before we jumped on, you told me that you had been, I don’t think I have any like specific questions for you anymore, unless there’s something that you want to share. But before we jumped on, you said that you took the time to kind of like journal on like, okay, what’s happened over the last year and like, how has Courage Driven Latina like supported me?
You talked about community, you talked about a few different things. Can you share that with us?
Jasmin: Yes, so I, I like to prepare. Um, and I just, I really thought back. and so what CDO has given me and helped me with, an opportunity to heal my inner child. And then again, like I mentioned before, that was like a whole package.
It led to many other things in my life that I have to heal. And that part is huge. I realized that my nervous system was dysregulated. And so finding ways to change that, I stopped going to CrossFit. Because I was always on go, go, go, like you mentioned before. And now I’m like, no, I’m not doing them anymore.
I’m doing strength training and Pilates at the same time. my fear was holding me back. It was hindering our progress for my husband’s immigration. And the biggest thing is that, I now have a group of women that I met in the previous cohort. and we do book, we do book club. We have a book club and it’s just one, yes, it’s, it’s book club, but it’s also cheeseman.
And, and we also like, it’s, it’s also been a form of healing because the books that we have read have led us to like heal. So one of the books that we read last fall was, I have it in front of me. The Mountain is You. Such a good book. Yes. And, it, it lined up like it was a perfect timing and we did like an altar of our younger self.
With pictures and like we put, items that symbolize, you know, our inner child. and so I, we wrote like a letter to our inner child and stuff like that. And just, and we shared that with each other during our call during our zoom meeting. And I wouldn’t have had these women in my corner if I wouldn’t have joined your program.
Erika: And where do these women live? Because they’re not your
Jasmin: neighbors. No. so Vanessa is obviously here in L. A. and then there’s Karina is in Illinois, right? Yes. And then Lupe and Kim are in New York, New Jersey. And then Iris is in New Mexico. I found out Nayeli, Nayeli’s also in the group, she lives, I want to say like 15 minutes away from me.
Have you met up yet? No, we’re going to, like we just found out like, I want to say like a month or two ago. Oh my gosh. Yes, so. I love her.
Erika: Yeah, I hope to see you two at the Courage Driven Latina event in May. It’s only a drive away for you, it’s in LA.
Jasmin: I will be there. I told you when it was March 9th, I was like, I don’t care where it is, I’m gonna go.
Erika: Now it’s May 25th. Yeah, which I’m so excited about. did you have anything else on your list?
Jasmin: No, no. Well, yes. One more thing. the thing is that through all of this, I now crave calmness. So that’s my word of the year. So because for so many years, I was always go, go, go. And now I just want to feel calm.
Erika: it. I feel like calm is the biggest luxury that we don’t know we want, right? Like people think they want money. What they really want is peace and calm. And you have attained that. Through the inner work and actually like before we jumped on you were thanking me for the program and I was telling you like it’s a two way street, right?
Like, yes, the program provides you with the resources and the space and like the community, but you’re the one doing the work as well. So, like, I feel like you were just such a success story because you’ve been leaning into the inner work and you’ve been leaning into. Really like going through the two paths of like confidence and career.
And I feel like your next one’s going to be business. Like whenever you’re ready, the next one’s going to be business, which is why you thought, why you joined the program because you thought business, but you needed to do these first, like these were the projects that needed your attention first before you could do that.
But now you have like the tools, you have the resources, you have the calm and the. Just like the practices to help you through entrepreneurship, whenever you’re ready for it. .
Jasmin: Yes. Yes. And like I said, ika gracias that you decided to do, become a coach and to do this program, for doing, chi Ana revolution, because that’s how I, well, I decided for sure that I wanted to work with you.
The way, the way Erica is on Chingonao Revolution is exactly how she is during coaching. and I’m just, I’m so thankful for you and for your program and for everything that you do, you have done for me and for all these other women. you should feel so proud of yourself. It’s so happy that, you know, that you’ve done all of this.
Erika: receive that. I’m like tearing up over here on the other side of the screen. Thank you so much for saying that and just thank you for showing up and showing the group and the community just like what’s possible because the people around you are inspired by you and they have seen who you were just 12 months ago to who you are now and you are just an amazing role model.
For your baby, for your bonus babies, for your partner and like your overall family. Like you really are the generational healer. So thank you. I’m so glad that like our paths crossed and I can’t wait to meet you in real life and have a great time at the event. And I’m going to be in LA. Like. tomorrow for like two months.
So if I make it down to San Diego, I’ll let you know. Maybe, the three of us can get together. Actually, there’s somebody else in San Diego who’s in the program. I don’t remember. Oh no, she moved. She’s in Seattle now. no, there’s, yeah, there’s another girl. Her name’s Paola. She makes jewelry and she’s super into, she creates healing circles.
I’m going to connect you with her.
but this other person was encouraged driven Latina like two years ago. Yeah. But she’s like, she should be local as well. So maybe we could do like a little Southern California meetup. Oh, I’m so excited. Amazing. Thank you so much for coming back on the podcast.
Thank you for sharing vulnerably everything that you’ve gone through and like where you are now, your story inspires. So many people. So I just appreciate you so much for coming back on the podcast and sharing with us and I’ll see you on Tuesday. Thank
Jasmin: you, Erika.