My year so far has been filled with a ton of lessons and a lot of growth. My business and my life have been filled with so many ups and downs that I wanted to take a moment this week to reflect. I know that this is a part of life, ups and downs happen. But what you do when these ups and downs happen is what’s important. 
So what do you do when you don’t know what to do? 

In this week’s episode, I’m going to share the habit I practice when I don’t know what to do. Meditation has provided me with many solutions, and I just have to share my experience with you. Hopefully, sharing my story can inspire you to meditate when you don’t know what to do, too. 

Follow Erika on:
Instagram @‌theerikacruz
TikTok @‌theerikacruz
LinkedIn

Website:
http://www.theerikacruz.com

How to work with Erika:

Join the waitlist for Courage Driven Latina here.

Join the waitlist for the Magnetic Mastermind here.

Podcast production for this episode was provided by CCST.

Episode Transcript

Erika: Hello friends, welcome to this week’s episode of Chingona Revolution podcast. I am coming to you from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I am at my mom’s house and I have come out here with a one way ticket. I don’t fully know what my plan is and I am living for this. You know, if I can be honest, 2024 did not go the way I expected.

I feel like 2024 ended up being Thus far, a year of a lot of lessons and a lot of growth and in life as well as in business. And this is just, you know, part of life and business. It’s not always going to be up. It’s not always going to be down. There are going to be ups and downs. But I remind myself that through obstacles.

is how we learn, right? We don’t learn if we’re just constantly winning. We learn whenever we face challenges, we learn about ourselves, we gain more clarity. It allows us to pivot and redirect. And what I have really found is that I’m kind of coming to this full circle moment where I’m getting back to the things that I used to do.

I’m almost like going back to the basics because what happened was My life and business changed so much over the last four years from working in the tech industry to starting my own business to growing my community. And I really became fixated on working in the business, growing the business. And I feel as if I have almost lost some of the foundations that got me to where I am.

I was actually speaking to Kat last night because she’s here in Mexico with me. Kat Del Carmen, we both started our businesses together and we were talking about how we, when we started, we had such massive goals and massive dreams. And at some point we started working so much in our businesses and in our lives that we stopped dreaming.

And the thing is we’ve realized a lot of these different dreams that we have. I mean, we were both on the front page of the New York times. So. together. We both like hit multiple six figures around the same time. So there’s been so many different milestones and at some point we almost stopped dreaming.

So one of these things that I’ve really come back to recently, especially because my mastermind just went through a 30 day abundance activation where we did a meditation every single day for 30 days. So. And we just felt this energetic shift in the community and like, not much changed outside of us, but the way that we felt in the container shifted and changed.

And there was just so many realizations. And when I first started in the self development world, I started through meditation and mindfulness, and I think that meditation gets such a bad. rap because sometimes people think or rep, right? Bad, bad reputation. Because sometimes people think, Oh, you know, like meditation’s just not for me.

people think I can’t clear my mind. And it’s almost like, Oh, I can’t do yoga cause I’m not flexible. But it’s almost like that’s the point of doing yoga to help your flexibility, right? To give you more mobility. And that’s the same thing about mindfulness. If you have a brain that’s constantly working, it’s hard to find clarity because your brain is, active and going so freaking fast.

It’s almost like a river, right? If a river is moving really fast, you can’t see clearly through the water. But once you get to a place where there’s stillness, it’s so much easier to see clearly. And I really do think that we live in such a distracted world that. Giving yourself a moment of mindfulness is what allows you to be in touch with your intuition.

So this was such a long introduction to say, if you don’t know what to do in your life, be still, try practicing meditation, try practicing mindfulness. And I’m going to tell you a little bit more about it and how it has helped me. Because I’ve constantly been that person who always has music in the background or is constantly listening to a podcast and I’m constantly doing and I’m trying to be as productive as possible.

And I remember when I lived in this little studio in Silicon Valley, when I worked in tech, I would be like, okay, well, while I fold laundry, I’m going to listen to a podcast. And then by the time this song is done, I’m going to be done cleaning, cleaning the dishes. And it was like, every moment need to be used in the most productive way.

And I, and there’s nothing wrong with being productive, but I was so focused on like, what’s the next thing? What’s the next thing? How can I get as much done as possible? That I was so out of touch with myself. I was so out of touch with my intuition and I constantly felt anxiety. And I felt like the more productive I was, the anxiety was going to go away.

But as soon as I was more productive, I just was like, okay, well, what’s next and what’s next and what’s next. And it was almost like, once I got a pay raise, okay, well, what’s the next thing I’m going for? Okay. Once I got a promotion, what’s the next thing I’m going for? And during the pandemic, when we were all forced to stay home, I was already kind of practicing mindfulness, but that forced me to really practice mindfulness.

And that is when I started my business. That is when I got a tremendous amount of clarity, a tremendous amount of creativity because I could only be so productive at home. I wasn’t going to the office anymore. I started to create content. I started to meditate a lot more. I started to journal a lot more.

And that is when magic really started to happen. So let’s talk a little bit about like what in the world is mindfulness. Mindfulness is to pay attention to what’s currently happening. So our brain is typically thinking in the future or in the past. I’m going to give you an example. So you’re maybe worried about like, Oh my gosh, what are we going to do this weekend?

What am I going to do about my career? What am I going to do about my relationship? Your future thinking, you’re almost worrying about the future or reminiscing on the past. Like, Oh, if only my parents would have done something different. Oh, if only I wouldn’t have, um, had this bad habit for X amount of years or that one time that that person made that comment to me, Oh, I should have gone to the gym yesterday.

Right? So we’re almost like regretting or reliving the past, or we’re trying to think about the future. But the interesting thing is that The only thing we have is the present moment. So let’s say that you’re thinking about tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, it’s going to be the present moment. So in other words, all we have is literally right now.

This is all we have. And our brain, it doesn’t know the difference between something that’s made up and reality. So have you ever been in a situation where you’re venting to your friends, maybe about your relationship or maybe about a situation at work. And every time you tell them, this story, you’re almost reliving it because your body feels just as anxious.

You feel as if you’re actually experiencing it. And there’s so much research around how our brain doesn’t know the difference between reality. Or imagination. And a lot of times we’re using our imagination in an unproductive way. It’s almost like whenever a kid is telling you what happened in the playground or something that happened at school, and as soon as they start telling you, they start crying again, right?

Or whenever you’re touching on a subject that feels really sensitive to you, that has really triggered you. You begin to get emotional about it. Or whenever you’re recounting a really positive or funny story, like you can’t help but feel joy. Well, that’s literally what is happening with our brains. When we’re worrying about the future or remembering the past, we are reliving these situations.

So if you’re anxious about maybe a partner cheating or a company laying you off, your body’s experiencing it as if it’s already happening. And with that, Social media with the amount of distractions we have with. I mean, I’m probably 80 ADHD. I’m undiagnosed, but honestly, sometimes I’m like, I literally cannot finish a task.

And this is just a result of our environment and how there’s constantly distractions and we’re constantly thinking about the future and the past. And we’re rarely in the present moment. Like, how often are we like? Oh, nothing bad’s actually happening right now, in this moment. Obviously, you know, if you’re in the middle of a crisis, like a car accident or something like that, that you, in those moments, we can’t help but be in the present moment.

Like, I was in a pretty bad car accident back in, I don’t even know what year it was. It must have been like 2011 or 2010. And so like the accident, we flipped in the vehicle. So I was the passenger. I was with an ex boyfriend. He had road rage. This is like not a good story. This is not good storytelling, but pretty much he, it was the Super Bowl Sunday.

We were going to his family’s house because they were having a barbecue. I had just gotten off work. He picked me up. I was in the passenger seat. We were getting on the highway. This guy did not let us get in because the two lanes were merging in together. So my ex like floored it, went off the shoulder of the road and like cut the guy off.

So then that guy got even more mad. We got onto the freeway. We were in the carpool lane. So like the fast lane. Guy pulls up next to us and then swerves into our lane to like hit us doesn’t hit us, but my ex Jerks the car to the left and we lose control of the vehicle hit the center divided of the freeway flip over obviously I’m okay, right?

We’re here, but I will never forget as we were in the air. And at this time, I didn’t wear my hair curly very much because I didn’t know it was very curly, but that day I didn’t have time to straighten my hair. So it was kind of wavy. And it’s so crazy that I remember the moment, slow motion, where we were in the air and my hair was flying and there was glass everywhere and I still see that in slow motion.

And that’s an example of being in that present moment. And I had no, I mean, I wasn’t over there worried about, you know, I was in the middle of applying to colleges and scholarships. I wasn’t worried about my scholarships. I wasn’t worried about college. Like in that moment, I was in that moment. And whenever we go through experiences like that, we have no other choice, but to be in the present moment.

Erika: But when we’re not in experiences like that, it’s so easy to try to live in the past or live in the future instead of where we currently are. A lot of our stress is self-imposed. The experiences that you have in your life and the reality that you’re living is based on what your brain is imagining and how your body is feeling.

Those are the, the two main things, right? So like we can have two people in the exact same situation. We can have twins living in the same exact house with the same parents, having very similar genetics. Like maybe their parents are going through a divorce and we can have one person looking at it in a way where they’re like, I’m going to be fine.

I’m currently safe. My, you know, my parents still love me. Their relationship has nothing to do with me. Versus maybe the other one could feel like everything’s falling apart. Um, if I was only a better child, my parents would still be together. Oh my gosh, we’re all going to be homeless. We’re all going to be living on the street.

Like there, there can be two different experiences. They’re both in the same circumstance, but the way they’re thinking and feeling about it is very different. Um, this isn’t to discount, you know, that. Trauma is a real ass thing, right? And it’s, your, your feelings are, are valid. They’re very valid. If you’ve gone through difficult things or if you’re going through a difficult situation now, but there’s something about practicing mindfulness.

And again, mindfulness is just paying attention to the present moment. That allows you to feel grounded and allows you to feel more at ease and allows you to deal with the difficult things you’re dealing with. So now let’s talk about what is meditation. Meditation is a way of practicing mindfulness. So if mindfulness is just, let me be in the present moment, meditation is an act of paying attention to the present moment.

So one of the misconceptions people have about meditation is that when you sit down to meditate, you need to clear your mind. It’s actually impossible to do that because your mind’s job is to think. What you’re actually trying to do in meditation is you are trying to pay attention to your mind. So rather than thinking, okay, I’m just going to clear my mind and not think of anything in meditation, what you’re doing is you’re paying attention to what are these thoughts actually saying.

So let’s just use the example of divorce because I think that’s something people can understand. So let’s say your parents are going through a divorce and you’re sitting there. meditating and then the thought comes into your head of like, what if we don’t make it financially? So your job during meditation is to say, Hmm, that’s interesting.

I’m thinking about what if we don’t make it financially? I am aware of that thought. I’m not the thought I’m aware of the thought. But in this moment, I’m okay financially or not like this actually hasn’t happened yet. You’re just becoming the observer It’s almost like taking a step back and paying attention to your mind and the way that people describe it that our meditation teachers are Imagine that you are your consciousness yourself.

You are the sky And the thoughts you have are the clouds that are passing by, and all you’re doing is observing the clouds. That’s all you’re doing. And I think that’s a really good example. But there’s a, something called the magic moment when you’re meditating. And sometimes you don’t even know you’re thinking because it’s so automatic.

So the point of meditation is not to stop thinking, the point of meditation is to be aware that you start thinking. So like, maybe you, Sometimes you have to focus on your breath or focus on some things because, again, the brain needs something to do. So maybe you sit there, close your eyes, focus on your breath, and then an intrusive thought comes in.

Sometimes you don’t, you’re not even aware that the intrusive thought comes in, but then the moment that you’re like, oh crap, oh crap, I got distracted, or oh my gosh, that was a thought. That is the magic moment. You’re training yourself to be aware of the thoughts that come in. I haven’t done an episode like this in a while, but this is the stuff that gets me very excited.

I’ve been, I mean, I’ve been into mindfulness for a while. I used to use the 10 percent Happier app. Um, there’s a lot of guided meditations in my programs. Like inside of Courage Driven Latina, we do a guided visualization to help you find clarity inside of my mastermind. Again, we do, we did that 30 day abundance activation, which was pretty much a meditation every, every day.

And for myself, whenever I’m trying to make a decision, I take a step back and I meditate. And sometimes people are like, Oh, I don’t have time to meditate. I’m too busy to meditate. But

meditation actually creates a lot more time and space because you are thinking clear, you are more productive. You are coming at your situation from a calm state of mind. And yeah, you can do, do, do all day. But let’s say you’re trying to tackle a problem and you’re just trying to do, do, do, you might miss an easy opportunity to fix the problem.

And I actually, I did a reel about this one day, like, let’s say that you’re trying, you’re on one side of the fence and you’re trying to get to the other side and you keep digging a hole and digging a hole and you keep hitting concrete. So you can’t get to like the other side of the fence through under the fence.

And. If you’re so fixated on your solution and on doing, you’re just going to keep digging and digging all along the fence and maybe trying to dig deeper. And that’s a lot of work. When if you were to just take a step back and take a moment and try to be a little bit more at ease and more calm and more grounded.

And then you look over to your right and you realize, Oh my gosh, there’s a ladder right there. I can literally just climb over. That’s what meditation does for you. Or just being mindful and being in the present moment. It allows you to take a step back and to see more clearly rather than being so tunnel vision and stuck in this one way.

And if you’ve never tried meditation, I highly recommend just going to YouTube and like looking for, you can Google like our YouTube inner child meditation. You can look up abundance meditation. You can look up confidence meditation. You can look up decision making meditation. I mean, there’s literally guided meditations for.

everything. And if you get distracted, don’t be frustrated. And if you find yourself feeling anxious, that is literally the work right there. If you find yourself feeling like, Oh my gosh, this is so uncomfortable to sit. Be curious. What are you so uncomfortable about? Like, what’s so uncomfortable about being with your thoughts?

Meditation and mindfulness and there’s even walking meditations, by the way, so you can even try those but And you can also try 10 percent Happier, that’s an app, the Calm app. The Calm app is what I’ve been using more lately or just YouTube or sometimes I’ll just set a timer. Like there’s so many ways of doing meditation, but meditation was really what allowed me to find the clarity to start my business, have the courage to call off my engagement.

Like it’s really been life changing for me. And the point of this podcast episode is to invite you to give it a try. To see how you feel when you’re done meditating, even if it felt like a quote unquote bad meditation, even if you felt like you were distracted a bunch, that is the point. It’s to be aware of how distracted we can be and try to be in the present moment because all we have is right now.

This is literally all we have. We’re not in the past. We’re not in the future. Remember when tomorrow is here, it is the present moment. All we have is right now. So hopefully this podcast episode has encouraged you to give this a try. Try with just five minutes. A five minute, five minute meditation is better than nothing.

It is something that I have reignited. for and, um, who knows? Maybe I’ll even do some guided meditations on the podcast, but if you’ve never given it a shot before, I encourage you to do it. It is, it has really been really helpful for me. And that’s the point of this podcast for me to share things that have helped me along the way that I think would be helpful for you as well.

So this is a very short but sweet episode. If you took anything away from this, be sure to let me know and I will see you all next week. Bye.