Chingona Revolution is hosted by Erika Cruz, a rebel who left a 6-figure tech job to pursue her own unconventional path to success by following her passion that led to her purpose. Every week, Erika will bring out of you that BADASS LATINA through her experiences to overcome self-doubt and family expectations and lead with COURAGE.
This week’s guest spent years putting off her coaching business even though she was already giving away her coaching services for free. She pushed the business part of coaching to the back of her mind even though she had a line of potential customers asking her for her help. Patrons from her gym asked her for her advice because they knew they could trust her. Khay knew she needed to make a change, but she needed help taking courageous action. To start her personal growth journey, Khay needed to start trusting herself.
Coach Khay is a mom of 2, a wife, and an experienced group fitness instructor. Coach Khay has been training and teaching kickboxing since 2001. She specializes in both small and large group sessions, as well as personal training. Her extensive experience includes instructing students of all ages, from young children to seniors.
In addition to her kickboxing expertise, Coach Khay became a certified group instructor for TurboKick, a Beachbody program, in 2009. After a brief hiatus, she returned to teaching kickboxing and boxing conditioning classes at UFC Gym in San Bruno during the 2021 pandemic. For the past two and a half years, she has been a dedicated instructor at iLoveKickboxing in Brentwood, where she continues to share her passion for martial arts and fitness.
In this week’s episode, Khay shares how she kicked through her mindset barriers by completing her courage project. Before she joined Courage Driven Latina, she was working through a ton of limiting beliefs all on her own. She thought she needed more certifications and qualifications before she started her own coaching business. Meanwhile, she was already coaching her patrons as a kickboxing instructor. She didn’t need any more certifications, she just needed to have courage. Listen to Khay’s episode to hear all about her personal growth journey and what’s next for her coaching business.
Connect with Khay Mandap:
Instagram: @ladykhay415fitness
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Website:
http://www.theerikacruz.com
How to work with Erika:
Sign up for the How To Make 2025 Your Courage Year webinar
Join the waitlist for Courage Driven Latina here!
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Podcast production for this episode was provided by CCST.
Erika: Hello and welcome back to this week’s episode of Chingona Revolution podcast. This is probably the third podcast that is being recorded in person and there’s something so special about being in person because you get to see each other’s body language and it just is a whole Another element of connection.
I feel like the conversations that happen on this podcast are already amazing, but there’s another dynamic that happens when you are in person. So today’s guest, um, I’ve known now for a little over a year and she’s actually my kickboxing instructor. So if you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably seen.
that I really enjoy kickboxing. I come pretty often. I do share it on my stories sometimes. And I was in the process of figuring out where it was. I was going to move to. And when I found this gym and when I found kickboxing, I was like, you know what, I can stay here a little bit longer because fitness is just such an important part.
of life. And I’m excited to speak about your journey with fitness. But I remember I attended one of your classes and you were talking about the importance of our thoughts. And like, we’d both read the same study and I was like, she’s my vibe. And I, you, We’re the one who got me to keep coming back to the gym.
And immediately I was like, she’s my people. And we obviously developed a friendship and now you are in CDL, Encouraged Driven Latina. And it’s been just such a beautiful journey to watch you. Execute your courage project, but doing it in a way that you’re doing something that you’re obviously very passionate about.
And like, you literally are a magnet to drawing people in. So that was such a long introduction for Kay. Hi Kay. Welcome. Can you introduce yourself and just tell us a little bit about you?
Khay: Hi. So, um, my name is Kay. Uh, I’ve been Instructing, I’ve been a kickboxing instructor for a long time. Um, I’ve been in kickboxing and martial arts for at least 20 years, um, in and out of, um, studios and in and out of gyms.
Um, it’s definitely always been a passion of mine. Um, I started kind of taking private sessions and getting paid under the table for things and kind of gave it a thought like, Oh, maybe this could be great, but never gave it. 100 percent of the try. Um, I think because I didn’t really have that much support at the time.
And so, um, joining CDL has definitely helped me, um, just, um, Put everything together. Like I literally manifested it for myself this year and was like, look, if this is it for me, like, if this is what I love to do, like, let me just give it a hundred percent. And so this was a perfect opportunity, um, to do that in a perfect space.
Erika: And tell me, how did you get into kickboxing? What, what is the role of fitness and overall, um, working out? What, what is that?
Khay: I actually was a pretty angry teenager. Um, I don’t think my parents really knew exactly everything that was going on with me. Um, but yeah. My mom thought that maybe karate would be a good thing to put me in and so I started with karate and taekwondo because I wrote taekwondo first because one of our friends like owned a studio and she was like, well, why don’t you try his classes?
And I ended up, um, excelling. really well in there. Um, the studio ended up closing down and I moved over to karate. And then, um, from there went all the way to, you know, third degree Brown and ended up instructing some kids and all ages. Um, and then from there I got into kickboxing. And there was like backward kickboxing, there was sparring kickboxing, and then there was turbo kick, and that’s a whole different section of my life.
Um, I ended up like teaching aerobic choreographed kickboxing, which was super fun, um, but it didn’t quite do what I wanted to do. So I ended up going back into, um, A studio for kickboxing and started training and doing one on one sessions and doing myths with people. Um, that’s kind of what I was like, there’s something here and I really love it.
I just didn’t know how to turn it into a business.
Erika: Okay. Well, we’ll get into the business stuff in a second, but I just feel like this is such an important. where, you know, as women and we’re, we’re going to get into this as well, that like, we’re both children of immigrants, but we come from different backgrounds.
Right. So like, are your parents both from the Philippines or yeah, from the Philippines. Okay. So, I mean, it’s really the same, right? Like every child of immigrant goes through such similar, so many similar things. So, um, at least growing up when I was younger, I remember. This idea of anger was so shameful.
Like you weren’t allowed to express anger. And I remember as soon as it was somebody’s birthday party and they brought out that piñata, I was going ham on that thing. And it was like the one acceptable way of releasing anger. And, uh, you know, you sharing that you like were really. You were easily angry and that’s not a bad thing.
It was just like, where do you direct that and how do you use it? And that’s beautiful that your mom ended up putting you in karate and then you ended up finding this. So tell me, why is it important for women specifically to practice Any type of martial art,
Khay: it makes you feel empowered. I feel like women oftentimes are silenced. Um, even in your marriage, in relationships with your parents, in relationships with your family. Um, in, in Filipino culture especially, it’s not, children are normally seen and not heard. Like opinions are not a thing. You don’t have one.
And so, um. And we would do this thing. It’s called monopole. You would take the elder’s hand and you would put it to your forehead as a sign of respect. Like you don’t get to say anything and you should be. And I grew up in this mindset that you should be thankful that you have all this stuff. You should be, you know, thankful for what you have, even though it’s only this kind of thing, you know?
And so, um, a lot of that also added to my anger growing up. Um, And it’s really important for women to have an outlet for women to have a space to support each other, to grow with each other, to give each other a space to let out your emotions. Um, and that’s why, um, I did a post. Actually, the other day, and that was like, the gym that you choose is really important.
It’s a space that you spend one hour in, but like, let’s say you spend more time in there, but the one hour that you spend is for yourself. It’s for your mental, your physical, and your spiritual. So this, the gym that you choose is really important because that is where you release your energy. That’s where you center yourself and you leave here feeling better.
You shouldn’t be choosing a gym where you’re being judged or people are looking at you and going, look at this lady. Like you should have a space to grow. You should have a space where you’re fully supported. And that’s really important for women besides knowing self defense and besides knowing how to properly throw a punch, you should also have an outlet.
Erika: You said so much. This is, this is why I don’t give people questions because then we miss the magic of like me just being able to pick off, pick up from what you just said, because you touched on so many things. So first I’m going to talk about women and self defense and,most of the people who attend the gym, um, are women, right?
And I’ve brought my mom and my mom’s not athletic. I’m pretty athletic. I grew, I played soccer. I have always enjoyed kind of running. I’ve always been a little bit more of an active child and I enjoy being active. And my mom didn’t really have a childhood like that. grew up with no running water, no electricity, same ideas of what you were just talking about with, you know, you just need to be grateful for what you have.
And I think everybody listening to this podcast, as you were speaking, we’re probably nodding their head, right? Even if they’re not, uh, if, even if they don’t consider themselves Filipina, if they are just like a child of immigrants, they’re like, Oh my gosh, yes, that is exactly the experience that I’ve gone through.
But, um, specifically about women. I think that you have done such a good job of making me feel welcomed and challenging me, but also when my mom comes, she feels like it’s a safe space and she’ll even tell you sometimes, she’s like, Oh, I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I love coming and you always make it.
Fun for her and I feel like you’re just so good at meeting people where they’re at and making it such a welcoming Environment that there is no shame and like you’ve just first I just wanted to call out that you’ve done that very well And you are very good at that Um, so the next thing I wanted to touch on is this idea that we should just be grateful And this is such a common thing if you are Um Even if you just come from a lower socioeconomic background, it’s like, how can we just be humble?
And yes, right. Let’s be grateful for what we have and let’s be humble. But sometimes this idea of I should just be grateful for what I have ends up keeping us small and it doesn’t allow us to go after our dreams. So, Have you seen that happen in your life and have you justified not taking action by saying, Oh, well, I should just be grateful
Khay: my entire life, my entire life.
And that’s probably the reason why it’s taken me so long to start my private coaching business. I mean, I’ve been in this for how many years and I just always thought small for myself and my mom actually, I mean, you know, thank God she got me into this, but then also started like putting fear into my mind and going, Oh, you shouldn’t fight.
You shouldn’t do this. You shouldn’t spar. You could get hurt. There are men in the business that are just out there to hurt people and you shouldn’t be fighting. At all. Right. And so, um, just people putting a stop to my business saying, oh, it’s a lot to handle a gym. Like it’s too much to handle a gym. You really just want to like, you know, make sure that you can take money under the table while you can.
And private coaching doesn’t really make a lot of money, but like for who? Like I’ve, I’m like doing CDL has definitely changed my mindset around like, well, it is going to be what you make it to be. So if you don’t, you know, put your mindset around, like, yes, this is the amount of money I want to make. I’m going to manifest this.
This is going to happen for me. And there are people that are not going to want to do this coaching business, but it’s okay because this coaching is very specific to a certain group of people and they’re going to sign up for it because they find value in it. And so changing my mindset around that, like I didn’t have a lot of support in that area.
And so I think I’ve put this coaching business off for like. Since 2000 something, 2002, maybe 2005, you know, like that’s when I really started going, Oh, like I’m really teaching this. Like I could totally, this could totally be a career, but then people shooting it down saying, Oh, it’s not going to make a lot of money.
I mean, look at how much the studio is making. Look at how much they’re paying you. It’s not a lot. Right. And so those negative thoughts got into my head and I was like, Oh, maybe it’s just a sideline gig. And so I always treated it as that. And it was always that for me, but now I’m like, um, thank God for my husband, but he’s able to support me.
He’s able to like, Hey, like, if this is your thing, you need to go do it. Like give it a hundred percent of a shot. Otherwise you’re always going to be wondering whether this was something that could have been your career or not. You know, so
Erika: you said so many good things, Sarah. I’m like, where do, where do I go? ? You actually answered a lot of the questions that I was thinking about asking, but, um, I wanna, I wanna point something out. People wonder how do I know if this is something I should follow or something I shouldn’t follow? And you pointed something out where you’ve been wanting to do this since 2000 something and whenever a desire keeps knocking on your, the door of your intuition and it just keeps coming back and keeps coming back, that is a good.
sign that this is something that should be followed. And of course, there’s always the fear of failure. There’s always other people’s limiting beliefs that are put on you. But this is something that kept coming back to you. So at what moment did you know? All right, I’m going to give this a real shot. Like was there an aha moment?
Was it just that it kept coming back for people who are listening, who may be in a similar situation where they’re like, Oh, I want to launch that podcast or I want to start that business or I want to get into the tech industry, whatever their goal is, right? That they keep maybe putting off and justifying with, I should just be grateful with where I am.
How do they know? Okay. Now, like from your experience, how did you know that it was time to take it seriously and really go for it?
Khay: a lot of things happened. So I ended up uprooting where I was from. Um, I used to work and live in San Bruno. Um, and I ended up moving out here and, um, I’m thankful for Matt for providing this space because it really has.
Kind of shown me like there are people that want your services. There are people that could use your knowledge. I mean, it, this, this space, maybe a year to six months in, I was like, Oh, I think I’m going to stay. Like it has provided me a space to offer my teachings to people, to offer my teaching style, um, to show people that.
They can do hard things. Um, I, I saw a lot of places that the gym was also lacking and could do better in. And Matt provided me a space to give that to people. And so that was the moment where I was like, I think I’m ready to just, what if I could make this business a better place? What if I could do more?
Like I’ve already provided that space during the one hour that I teach class. What if I could do more? Right. And so that was kind of the moment, like. Six months to a year in here, I was like, Oh, we could totally with the right support, um, with the right people around me, it just kind of fell into place for me, something I never thought would happen.
So,
Erika: yeah. So it sounds like in your mind, it was already something that you had started to create. But you then found yourself in not the perfect circumstances, right? Which we’ll talk about in a moment where like you still had to overcome what other people might think. You still had to overcome a lot of different things, but it came to a point where you were like, I either do this now or I don’t do it.
Yeah. So, um, can you tell us what your courage project was? was because you’ve already completed your first courage project.
Khay: Um, my courage project was to start my own private coaching business. Um, and I’ve always done it. I’ve always done it. that I worked at. I’ve always done it. I’ve always, some people have always approached me and go, Hey, I want to work with you one on one.
And, um, I kind of always took money under the table and then sometimes would do things for free. And sometimes would, you know, people would just want to pick my brain about stuff. And I would spend time outside of my work hours to help these people. And it was great, but. I have, I just saw that there’s a space here that I could use.
That’s provided for me. It’s perfect for all the private sessions. Um, doing it in my house or doing it outside of work was no longer doable for me cause it was cutting into my family time and it was cutting into my personal life and so I was like, all right. You know, it’s now or never like it obviously everything is in place There’s like a very clear path for me to start this now So when I did my courage project, I was like, all right, you know what?
I’m just gonna make this my courage project and we’ll see like if it doesn’t work out and I fail then it’s down to hit We can hit another road, right? And so this was kind of that final try for it.
Erika: Yeah, and for those people who are listening who may not be in California, San Bruno is a city in Northern California.
Matt is the owner of the gym that we are currently recording in, where Kay has started her private coaching. So just, I realize we didn’t give people context, because we’ve got people in New York listening, people in Miami, right? So, um, I’m looking at your courage project plan. And then for those of you who are listening who may not know what a courage project is, it is just your dream project that you’ve been wanting to do, but you’ve been afraid to do it.
And for Kay, I already knew this was something that she wanted to do. And I mean, you’d been listening to the podcast and we’d been talking a little bit here and there and we had like informal coaching, but when you joined the program, that’s when you were like, okay, I’m really going all in on this. And, um, I’m looking at your courage project plan because I think as people follow you online or maybe see you in the program now, uh, it’s really easy to just, be like, Oh yeah, Kay’s got it together.
Like, of course she already knows all this. But one of the first questions in the Courage Project Plan is Does this project scare you and why? And you said, yes, because I still suffer from imposter syndrome and I keep thinking I need more certifications and I feel like I need to prove myself. I still fear that I don’t know enough and I struggle knowing that there are maybe people who know more than I do.
So hearing that now, right? Cause you’re now you’re on the other side. So, but. Can you tell us a little, because this is a very valid and common experience that people go through. This is part of what it means to be courageous. It’s not that you don’t feel the fear. It’s like, you’re going to feel the fear, but you still do it.
So tell us a little bit about what was going on in your mind at that time. And how did you overcome that to already finish your first courage project in just a few months? Like you’re already on to phase two of this.
Khay: Um, it was not that scary. That I thought because I was already in it, right? But it was all those thoughts that got in your head every time you were about to do something or a step forward Your mind did like three steps back.
You know, you’re like, no, you don’t have all these certifications. You don’t have this You don’t have that and yeah, you definitely need more education. But you know what like The fitness industry is ever changing, it’s ever evolving, so if you’re not currently training, um, which I am, you’re not gonna be up on that stuff, and so it’s, it’s like, we had one conversation, and you were like, am I, there’s a brain surgeon that just got their certification and just graduated from school, but has not performed any surgeries, and then there was the surgeon that, um, has been doing this for years, Like 20 years, like 200 successful surgeries and no certification.
Like, who would you rather have? Right. And, um, same goes for my coaches that I receive coaching from. They are people who don’t have their certifications, but they have been in this for a really long time. So I just, I feel like I just needed to. Jump over that hump or that speed bump and just finally see it from this side of the perspective.
And I’m like, Oh, like it wasn’t that scary. Like, yes, I can still get those certifications. I can still like get the knowledge from the book, but I just feel like that people are going to choose somebody that they know has experience. And I’ve seen that proven to me here in the studio time and time again, where people are like, well, I know that they’ve been here for years.
But when I take your class you say one thing and it makes a world of a difference in my workout That’s why I’m choosing you to be my coach. And so that has been proven to me Numerous times and that’s kind of been a confirming factor For me to do this.
Erika: Yeah, and you know as I mentioned earlier We look at you now or the people who come to the gym look at you as this thought leader even if you’re For a moment there, you didn’t see yourself as that thought leader.
And I think people see me that way as well. Like, Oh, it courage comes so easy to Erica. But what I’ve learned is that we’re always going to end up experiencing challenges that are stretching us just outside of the comfort zone. Right? So even though from the outside, looking in at your experience, I can validate and understand that for you, That was terrifying for you.
There was a lot more to learn because you knew how much there was to learn because you are in this industry. And for anybody out there that’s going through something where they’re like, Oh, why can’t I just like, hurry up and be brave? Your fear is valid and it’s because it’s stretching you out of whatever comfort zone you’re currently in.
But now you’ve grown your comfort zone, right? And now the next courage project, you’re probably going to feel the same way about it as soon as you get started with that one, but the that’s, that’s what growth is, right? We’re never going to finish growing. Like we’re constantly going to have to overcome these thoughts.
And, This is a very common thing that comes up. Whether people want to be fitness coaches like you or life coaches like me, or if they are thinking about doing a career switch, there’s always that like, Oh, but I need the certification first.
And also I think as you were speaking, you made it sound like you literally had no certifications. You have certifications and you have experience. There’s just more that you can get. And of course, there’s always more, right? I could go get my MBA. I could go do all of these other things. But, um, I think the most important thing is if you allow yourself to try it before you go and do the certification.
Then, to your point, you could still go get the certifications if you want. I could still go get my MBA. Are we going to do it? Who knows? Maybe, if we decide to though, it’s going to be very intentional, and not from this place of, Oh, I need that, in order to have confidence. Because you know what else I’ve seen?
When people go and get their certification, thinking that the certification is going to give them the confidence, they still feel the same amount of imposter syndrome. Yeah. So, um, Thank you. You’re welcome. That was just a whole ass rant. Do you have anything to say?
Khay: No, um, you know, I, I still suffer. I’m just going to be honest. I still suffer from imposter syndrome. Like I still have to self coach all the time, all the time. And then, you know, like I take on a new client and then I’m like, Oh my God, like, Can I help this person? Like, what are they looking for? And like, am I that person that they’re looking for?
Do I have the skillset to help them? Like, that is a constant thing for me every time, but you know, like once I get started and they start telling me the reason why they came to me, it, it puts me at ease because I’m like, okay, like I can do this and whatever it is, whatever it is that we’re going to overcome together, like you’re going to get something out of this session.
I already know it, right? Like, So it’s constant, constant self coaching.
Erika: Yeah. And I’m sure that one of the things that helped you overcome that doubt, because doubt is a normal part of life. I doubt things all the time. I mean, I make different decisions in my business and I’m like, was that the right thing to do?
Which direction do I want to go? Um, just constantly, I mean, courage isn’t something that we ever stopped practicing. But for you, because I know your story, I think a big part of helping you overcome that is obviously one of the tools that we talk about in CDL, like self coaching, the group calls, seeing other people execute their project.
But I think for you, it was also that your project, The end goal of your project was to help others. And I think whenever you’re doing something that’s more in service and it’s something bigger than you, it’s easier to overcome that self doubt. And as we had asked you, you know, why was it important for this project to come to life?
And like, how is this project going to make the world a better place? You talked about how having this like special place that welcomes all people without judgment is so important and that the fitness journey is intimidating. So like, how is it that you can make this the most accessible to people and give them the confidence to really believe in themselves?
Because what happens in the gym is one thing, but I truly, I like constantly, when I’m working out, I say to myself, I can do hard things. Like if I can do this workout right now, I can do hard things outside as well. So even though you’re helping people in the gym, you’re also just helping them. With their health, with their confidence, like it spills over to all of these different areas.
So how did having a bigger purpose help you overcome the self doubt? That’s
Khay: a lot. Just like you said, I come from a place of service, right? Like when I really started realizing like the potential here and what I could really do and accomplish. Um, I started really thinking about each person that I really wanted to help.
And. And every time, like I pass through class, right, I’ll give you guys a combination and you guys are punching the bags whenever I weave through the class, I’ll always like either give a positive comment or try to tell you guys something that might help you. Um, and so, you know, it’s just,
like serving people has been a big purpose for me. if. Service is below you, then leadership is beyond you, right? Like you have to be able to serve and help these people. And sometimes it isn’t about the roundhouse. Sometimes it’s them coming to a place and being able to just cry in front of their bag and sometimes giving them a space to look, they’re like, I look so stupid right now.
And I’m like, you don’t look stupid. You look like you’re learning something that’s not in your comfort zone. Like, it’s okay. It’s okay to have that here. It’s okay to be that I’ve, I’ve grown up around a lot of shame and a lot of like, just like people judging you all the time. I come from toxic gym environments and I, it’s been a real big thing for me to provide the complete opposite for people.
Erika: Okay.
obviously we are coming up to the holiday season and then soon it’s going to be New Year’s resolutions and a lot of people who are listening to the podcast want to prioritize their fitness. So, um, What is, um, like a mindset shift or maybe like a thought error that you see people have or a limiting belief that they have around fitness that like, if you could have somebody, everybody listening to this podcast, believe one thing about their fitness and wellness, what would that be?
Khay: What would that belief that you instill into them be? It doesn’t need to be an hour. It doesn’t need to be. So I always say this to people say, right, I talked about it this week, set your ceiling and set your floor. If your ceiling is, well, I would like three hours in the gym with 30 minutes of meditation. What’s your floor, right? Well, if all I had was 15 minutes, I would still take it.
Right. So like you’re going to have your really hard days and you’re going to have your easy days. So if all you have is 15 minutes of movement, and that’s just what you feel like you have the mental capacity to do this week, Then do 15 minutes of movement every day and set your alarm. So consistency is always better than motivation.
Motivation leaves. It’s it doesn’t stay. So consistency showing up no matter what you feel like, no matter. What it looks like and your a hundred percent is going to look different every day, right? Sometimes a hundred percent is five meals and 200 grams of protein. And some days you’re a hundred percent is a prayer in a Snickers bar.
So I always tell people that I’m like, look, like some days you’re not going to get it all in, but if it’s a hundred percent of your effort, like it counts, so it’s okay. Just, just get it done and get it in. And you can do hard things. And the more that you trust yourself with, if you set your alarm, At four o’clock every day.
And you say for 15 minutes, I’m going to move my body. When that alarm goes off, the more you stick consistent to that four o’clock alarm, the more you’re going to learn how to trust yourself. And when you are disciplined that way, then you can say, all right, well, next week, I’m going to try for 30 minutes.
And that 30 minutes turns into an hour. And then you start hitting your ceiling, right? When you stick to that consistency, people always expect that to be fast. It’s actually like a year of building it. Yeah. After that year, you’re like, okay, now I’m at an hour. Like, yeah, maybe next year I’ll get some three.
Erika: You brought up two things that I think are so important. So the first one is this all or nothing thinking, right? People think they have to go all out. Or like, why bother if I only have five, 10, 15 minutes. And what you’re saying is the 10 minutes of movement, the 15 minutes of movement is better than not doing anything.
So like, if you can’t make it to your hour kickboxing class, can you go for a mile walk or a 10 minute walk or something like that? And then the other thing that you pointed out that is so important that we try to also teach inside of Courage Driven Latina is that, um, Um, the motivation is a feeling, right?
Motivation is a feeling. It’s not structure and it’s not something that you can always rely on because some days you’re going to feel motivated and other days you’re not, especially if you’re female, right? Every time we start our cycle, we’re not motivated. To do anything. Exactly. Yeah. So I love consistency over motivation and then, um, you know, something is better than nothing.
Khay: Right. Lovely. Yeah. I stick to that and I let people know, I’m like, look. God, there was something that I was going to say and I lost it. Um, oh, I talked about it in class today too. Um, you know, there’s like that guy that goes, okay, like I’m going to go in the gym and I’m going to touch every machine and I’m going to be in here for five hours.
Like if consistency is the name of the game and you just were there for five hours. You’re not going to be there tomorrow. Yeah. That’s unsustainable, unsustainable. You need to give yourself a 15 minutes. It’s sustainable. Do what is sustainable to you.
Erika: Yeah.
Khay: And you know, that’s going to win every single time.
Erika: Yeah. So what advice do you have for people who are gearing up for the new year and really do want to prioritize their fitness and maybe they were in shape and maybe they had life changes, like maybe the pandemic. threw them off, maybe they became new moms, maybe they moved, maybe they, the gym they went to closed, like, you know, obstacles are going to happen.
Like, what is your advice for people to get back and be able to implement what you mentioned about something is better than nothing and then consistency over motivation?
Khay: while you’re shopping around for a gym. To pull up YouTube, find a subscription that you really like, um, start getting comfortable with moving your body while you’re alone.
And then you get comfortable with yourself. And then when you try to, you know, find a gym and search for a gym and try different classes, the more you kind of search outside of your comfort zone, you’ll be like, Oh, okay, maybe, maybe I can do this.
Or maybe I can do bar. Like I never saw myself doing that, but I’ve done it at home. So let me go try it. Right. Um, Don’t be afraid to venture outside of your comfort zone. Um, but I would say start at home and start it with yourself and start with small little 15 minute increments and you’ll build yourself up from there.
People always want fast results and they, they go, I want to join a program and it’s going to be great. Like sometimes you enter a gym and it’s not what you thought it was, you know? So be really keen with like trials, use trials, check them out, see what their coaches look like. See what, you know, their. Um, member base looks like, um, I’m really, um, adamant about that.
Like going in to try them out because you want coaches that are not going to judge you, but are going to support you and meet you where you’re at. Not expect you to be at a certain level or they won’t pay any attention to you. I’ve seen a lot of that as well. Oh yeah. So you’re going to want to enter an environment where the member base is super helpful.
The coaches are super welcoming and it inspires a space for you to grow. That is really
Erika: good advice. It’s kind of like dating a few dates before you actually commit to one.
Khay: Yeah. Yeah. And try going in there without like a predisposition or pre, you know, like some people go, Oh, I’ve done kickboxing before.
And they go in there and go, Oh, I already know what I’m doing. Like that doesn’t leave you open for coaching. So that’s huge. Yeah. It doesn’t leave you open to be coached. That’s, I think as a coach myself, that’s one of the hardest things I encounter. When people come in and they go, Oh, I already know what I’m doing.
I don’t need to buy trials or I don’t need to do this. Or I don’t need to do that. It’s like, yes. You’ve done it before, but someone else always has a new perspective for you. There’s always something to learn. Even me as a coach, I’ll never go into a gym and say, I know what I’m doing. Like, I’m going to go in there and be like, yes, I’m here to learn.
I’ve done this before, but I’m here to learn. Please teach it your way. I’m here for you. I go ahead. So that’s, that’s super key when you’re trying to learn something new is to leave yourself open for coaching.
Erika: Yeah. So in mindfulness, um, so before starting my coaching business, I became a yoga instructor and my goal was to open up a gym.
So like that was my goal. And then the pandemic happened. So I was like, okay, well, that goal is not happening. And it might happen in the future. But, um, one of the big things that I got really into was mindfulness meditation, and it happened through yoga. But there’s a concept in mindfulness that’s called beginner’s mind, which is exactly what you’re describing.
So it’s like, if we go into something with the assumption that we already know, and there’s nothing for us to learn, we’re closed, but if we go to it. With an open mind, we could be blown away or we could be, we could learn the same concept in a different way. Like we’re missing out on learning if we’re already coming in with a closed mind or I already know what I’m doing.
And the truth is we all have like growth is not something that we’re, that we finish. We’re never getting, we don’t get to this place where we’re done growing. There’s always something that we can learn from literally anybody in the world. So I love that you brought that up that it, cause that’s a common thing.
I see too. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Khay: Yeah, it makes it really hard to coach somebody because it, you know, like there are certain ways that we do things and there are reasons why we do this and you know, like there are reasons why we have certain techniques and some people receive coaching from one way and they’re like, Oh, well this is the way.
And I’m like, no. It’s, there’s many ways, allow me to help you so that you don’t get injured. I want you here and not on your couch, giving up on your goals. I want you here. So that’s my main thing is like, you gotta be here and you gotta be open to it. We’re going to have hard conversations. That’s what fitness is about.
Right? Yeah. Um, and I feel like when people search for fitness, they are also searching for other things in life.
Erika: Tell us more. This is so fascinating.
Khay: When they come to a gym or when they go, Hey, I want to make a commitment to myself on this. They are also looking to elevate their mentality. They’re looking to elevate their life.
They’re looking for all the other things. Fitness is the main part. Like it’s, it’s just one road that opens you up to a whole bunch of things. Well, to do hard things in fitness. You have to be
coachable. Oh,
Khay: to be coachable, you have to hear hard things about yourself that you don’t want to hear. So I feel like, um, they go hand in hand with mindset, meditation, with all those things.
When people start getting deep into fitness, you start opening your mind up to all, to all the things.
Erika: You know, it’s so funny. I’ve coached so many people and what I have found is that the people who. started off with being more disciplined with their fitness, whether it was running consistently, going to yoga consistently, everything kind of followed through.
the project they wanted to execute was more attainable. And that’s why I also have the concept of the four M’s and the first M is movement, right? Get yourself moving. Um, so yeah, thank you for sharing that. So now I know that we are almost at time. So I would like to go back to your courage project and just ask a few questions about how you went from Like, cause as people are listening to this interview, they’re like, obviously she knows what she’s talking about.
I can’t believe that it was hard for her to get started. Um, but that that’s always the hardest part, like getting started and then being consistent. So where are you now when it comes to your courage project?
Khay: Um, I feel like I’ve accomplished the first part of it already. Um, so now what I want to do is elevate further by.
working on the social media aspect of it. Um, and I think eventually further off in my mind is to also do podcasts.
Erika: Yeah. But I was still listening to your podcast.
Khay: Yeah. It’s just, you know, um, it, there’s a whole mentality that goes with, um, starting your fitness journey and,
There’s, there’s a whole thing that comes with it. Um, and especially people who have. Reached a certain part of their fitness journey and go, how, where do I go from here? Like, what’s next. Right. And so I kind of wanted to start a podcast on that as well. And so that’s where I’m at. I I’m, I’m figuring out for me personally, like what’s next now.
How can I make this better? How can I reach more people? How can I, um. Let people know that this isn’t that scary. Like kickboxing, I feel like is so intimidating already. So it’s like, I’m trying to make it where like, how do I, how do I bring more, more people in here? Cause it’s not just kickboxing. It’s, it’s more than that.
It’s a community of people that will help you get it all started. So,
Erika: yeah. And I think a podcast is something that obviously people who are local here should definitely come to the gym, but there’s people who aren’t local, right? That you still, you, you want to make more of an impact, not just for the people that are in your area.
So I love that for you, a podcast. Yeah. So, um, tell me what, let’s say that somebody is listening to. This podcast episode and they have a goal that they want to go after. And maybe they’ve been considering doing something, whether it’s join courage, driven Latina, or maybe another program that they’ve seen, and they really want to start, take that first step.
Khay: What advice would you have for them? Um, do it, just do it, do it, invest in yourself. Um, I always was around family and friends that like, um, that coaching business costs, how much personal coaching costs, how much girl you could just look up on YouTube. Like. No, you pay for this coaching to be around mindsets that you want to acquire,
right?
Khay: Like you hit you, like, don’t expect people who work so hard to do things for free. Yeah. Like pay for the service, invest in yourself so that you could also elevate. So I would just, my best advice is to stop. to go for it. If it’s been something that’s like been knocking at your door, like do it.
Erika: Yeah. And the people that are listening are probably like, Oh my gosh, I have that family member.
And the thing is that, Yes, people could, people could go find anything online. We’re living in the age of information, right? But people aren’t paying for information. They’re paying for accountability, for structure, and for literally attention to their specific need. So, and that is why people are willing to work with you and work with you privately rather than just taking the group classes.
Because they’re getting your one on one attention. They’re getting feedback directly on their form. Or even for me, right? Like, you were listening to the podcast, and you got a lot of value from the podcast before joining the program. But then, you’ve only been in the program for what? Like, three months?
And you’ve already finished your first project. And now you’re like, getting ready for your next one. Like, now you’ve, you’ve Taking the step, you’ve made money from it. You built a reputation around a private coach here as well. And like had a wait list waiting for you. It was just, yeah,
Khay: it was crazy. It’s crazy.
Um, to see it all unfold and to see it happening. Um, it’s definitely. You know, like people go, Oh, you could, like you said, it’s the age of information can find that information anywhere. Right. But to be around people who are also trying to achieve the same thing, and then to also have people lift you up and say, you, you can do this.
Like you’re already doing this and to like knock some sense into you sometimes. Yeah. Like, what negative thoughts are you having, girl? Like let me just list it out for you A, B, and C. This is why you should do it. To have those kind of people around you, it’s priceless. You can’t put price tag on it.
Erika: Yeah.
Khay: So, yeah. And I feel like you’re talking about this from two different experiences. Yeah. You being, you know, A client and being surrounded by other women who are also doing the thing that scares them. But, also, like, you being the coach for your clients in the gym, right? Yup. Um, okay, let’s see. So with the fears that you had whenever you were first starting your courage project, how do you feel about them now? That I should have done them a long time ago, but I feel like the timing and everything was perfect. Like I feel like it, the opportunity wasn’t given to me then because I wasn’t ready for it. Hmm. Yeah. I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t in a place in my life to take it on. And so it’s funny, like all roads lead here.
Yeah. Right. And so now that I’m here, I’m like, okay, now I can pave my own way. So I’m in a place where I can do that. And that’s, and it’s amazing.
Erika: Yeah. That’s beautiful. I’m so excited
Khay: for your next courage project.
Erika: obviously you’re still in the program for like a while, you’re still in it for another nine months. So tell me what Have you learned in the program that you’re gonna keep taking with you even after the program
Khay: all the self coaching techniques
All the self coaching techniques like I self coach daily good on things
Khay: Yeah, and just having a structure for the self coaching right like there are things you can say to yourself all the time Mm hmm, but like this having the structure and using the structure for a thought process That’s like gold.
Yeah. I take that with me all the time. And I use that for my journaling.
Erika: Yeah. So what were you doing on a daily basis before joining the program versus now? Cause now it sounds like journaling is a big part. Self coaching is a big part.
Khay: What was your life like Before the program versus now that you’re three months in the program.
So, um, before the program, I didn’t kind of, I didn’t have a direction. I was just kind of going for this. And it’s, it’s funny because I had this thought in my head that I was like, what if I like tell Matt, what if I start my own business?
And then me and Matt could do like a business to business kind of thing. Right? Like, I’m like, what if I, you know, I had all these, what ifs, And, um, and then I started listening to you and I started listening to your podcast and I was like, I feel like I need like some kind of, I need someone to like steer me down the right road.
Right. And so after I joined CDL, I felt like everything had a lesson plan on a daily basis, I was like, okay, let’s follow this structure, self coach what’s next. Um, and then to do that, you need to. So all my thought process, just, I feel like my jumble of thoughts came together and then I had direction on how and where and when.
Yeah. So, um, yeah, I feel like, uh, I was sitting on a lot of stuff too. And you were like a lot
Erika: of time spending in the brain versus like spending in my
Khay: mind because there was nobody that in my family or nobody around me that was in the same field that I can speak to, you know, and like, yes, I had my coaches and my coworkers here, but they had ever, they had never done this either.
Right. I’m doing something new. Yeah. One. And so I’m doing something new and I kind of needed a community around me to be like, look, um, this is how you do this. And then when you have these thoughts, this is what you do.
Erika: Yeah. Yeah. Just like you have people in your life where you shared your dreams and they were like, almost, you know, sharing their own limitations on like, Oh, I don’t think that’d be possible, but it’s because they’ve never done it before.
Just like those people existed in your life. I feel like in order to do something. That is courageous and something that is impactful. You need somebody to be in your life to be like, Oh, of course you can do that. Why not? And then it’s almost shocking where you’re like, wait, what? I can’t. And I feel like that’s what communities like Courage is Driven Latina do.
Or that’s, I always say like the number one thing, if you want to do something that scares you, but you know, deep down that you want to do it, It’s that you must surround yourself with people who are going where you’re going or who have already been there because those people will never shut down your dream.
They’re always like, Oh yeah, of course.
Khay: Yeah. Yeah. Being around that has been amazing. I’ve, I’ve been surrounded by people who always the self limitations. And so you take it on
and you’re like,
Khay: okay, maybe this. And then you, you, you take on more negative thoughts and you just live in your head. Exactly.
It’s definitely been, um, a blessing. Yeah.
Erika: I’m so glad. And you know, these people that are in our lives and in our family, like they love us and they want us to be safe and they don’t want to see you try something and like, Have it not succeed. And, you know, it’s not that they don’t, that they want to see us fail.
I think it’s more that they can’t comprehend our vision. They don’t know where we’re going. And that’s why it’s really hard for them to validate and support us. But being in community is so important. And, um, Oh, I was going to ask you a question earlier when you were talking about your story. Um, I was good.
Cause I was just going to say being surrounded by other rebels. Do you consider yourself a rebel in your like family? Definitely.
Khay: I’m always the black sheep. I’m always the one that says shit that they don’t want to hear. Like, oh, you’re, that makes you uncomfortable. I’m sorry. Yep. The subject is totally uncomfortable.
Yeah. Exactly. It is totally uncomfortable. And you sweeping it under the rug is not going to happen around me.
Erika: Exactly.
Khay: So,
Erika: yeah. Yeah. I feel like that is what unifies people in the room as well. It’s like everybody wants to be the best version of themselves. Everybody feels like they’re the rebel of their family or their friend group and they’re just the one that’s just like, yeah.
You know, doing something that is unexpected and to be surrounded by other rebels that are like, yeah,
it makes it
Erika: so much easier to keep going. Um, well, I think those were pretty much all the questions I had for you. Is there anything? I did not ask that you’d like to share.
Khay: Um, no, I feel like we covered everything, even stuff that I didn’t expect us to cover.
So that was good. Thank you. Yeah,
Erika: I knew it was going to be a great interview. So thank you for coming on. Um, yeah, we’re going to have to invite you back whenever you’re done with your next two courage projects. Cause this was just courage project number one. Yeah. Yeah. And whenever you launch your podcast, which could be one of your courage projects, by the way, there is a launching a podcast course inside of the curriculum, so, but when you do that, um, we could even give you the recording for this if you wanted to put it on your podcast too.
Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. All right.
Thank you so much, Kay. Thank you. Thanks for having me.