Do you ever feel like you are what you do for work? I know so many people who have tied their entire identity to their jobs. It’s more common than you think! This week’s guest went through the same thing, and now, she’s going to tell us how she untangled her career from her identity. 

Medina works at Google as a Business Operations Program Manager, making the tech world run a little smoother. Pero, her heart truly beats for two things: cuddling her furry sidekicks, Snuffles & Luna, and empowering Latinas to crush their goals and rewrite the rules for success. She has 8 years of experience working in tech – from hiring superstar intern talent to supporting performance management, she’s explored various corners of the tech world. Throughout it all, Viry’s been a champion for diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging, building spaces where everyone feels valued and unstoppable. She is a lifelong learner who loves expanding her network. So, don’t be a stranger! Come say hola, share your story, or just chat about anything (because, let’s be honest, the internet is for more than just work!). Find her at her blog, hey-viry.com. 

In this week’s episode, we’re working on unbinding our career from our identity. We already hold so much value just by being ourselves that we don’t need our job to give us value. As a Latina, that’s a mindset we often have to learn on our own. We don’t need to look to others to give us validation. We already have it.  

Connect with Viry:
Instagram: @hey.viry
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/virymedina
Website: https://hey-viry.com/

Website:
www.theerikacruz.com

Follow Erika on:
Instagram @‌theerikacruz
TikTok @‌theerikacruz
LinkedIn

How to work with Erika:
Join the waitlist for Courage Driven Latina here.

Podcast production for this episode was provided by CCST.

Episode Transcript:

Erika: Hello, welcome to this week’s episode of Chingona Revolution Podcast! Today’s conversation is an interview with one of my clients who works in the tech industry. We talked all about her involvement in diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging within the tech industry, what it’s like to be the only Latina in the room, the only Latina on her team, moving to different states for work.

We also talked about really unbinding our identity. to work, right? Like not finding our value and our identity within work, which sometimes as Latinas or as underrepresented community or just from immigrant parents, it’s so easy to do that. We also talked about you know, how we tend to look for validation from our parents and how to still choose yourself while holding respect for, for your parents.

I mean, we talk about the fear of failure. We had a lot of amazing conversations and the guests that I have on is my amazing client, Viry Medina, who works at Google as a business operations program manager. She is making the tech world run a little smoother. Pero her heart truly beats for two things, cuddling her furry sidekicks Snuffles and Luna, and empowering Latinas to crush their goals and rewrite the rules for success.

She has eight years of experience working in tech, from hiring superstar intern talent to supporting performance management. She’s explored various corners of the tech world, which we get into during the interview 

And through it all, Viry has been a champion for diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging, building spaces where everyone feels valued and unstoppable. She is a lifelong learner who loves expanding her network. So don’t be a stranger. Make sure that you go and say hi to her, share your story, or just chat about anything, because honestly the internet is for more than just work.

And she has this awesome blog.

So we’ll link all of her links down below in the show notes so that you can check her out and connect with her. Viry is also a client inside of Courage Driven Latina that has worked on a variety of courage projects from a business courage project to a baking courage project Facebook Now, and if you are interested in joining us inside of the next round of Courage Driven Latina, the doors are opening on July 29th, 2024.

Mark your calendar, talk to your partner, do all the things that you need to do to ensure that you are ready for the day that we open doors because we will have a 48 hour bonus that I don’t want you to miss. All right, let’s get into the interview.

if you can introduce yourself and tell us what you do, who you are and any details that you feel comfortable sharing. 

Viry: Yeah, thank you so much, Erika. I’m so excited to be here. Um, it feels like almost like a dream come true having seen you from the outside to now being on the podcast. So the pleasure is all mine.

Um, but yes, my name is Viry Medina. I am a, a program manager in tech specifically with an HR at Google. I’ve met the company for eight years now, started off as an intern. Um, and, um, Outside of work, I like to tell folks I’m a sister, I am a girlfriend, I am the eldest daughter of immigrants, and I am a very proud, um, dog mom to two dogs, uh, Snuffles and Luna.

They are my world, uh, one of my passion. Projects are things I really enjoy doing are just helping other Latinas and Tag or first gen folks get ahead in their career and using my own experiences and learnings to uplift them and elevate them so that we have like the best leaders taking over corporate in the next years to come.

Beautiful. 

Erika: I love it. You know, sometimes I look at your career trajectory and I’m like, That could have been the path that I took, like, because I really wanted to work at Google and I ended up interviewing and I got to, I think, almost the final round and then there was some reorganizational stuff, like some restructuring, which As you know, this happens a lot at Google because I was like, maybe they were just trying to like be nice and not tell me that I didn’t get the job.

But I mean, after having worked with you for almost a year now, I’m like, no, they do go through their fair share of restructuring. Um, yeah. So I ended up like not getting the job in that door closed. So like, when I look at you, I’m like, damn, you’re, you’re just. doing the work that I was so passionate about when I was in tech, which was creating space for Latinas and creating space for people of color, because tech is our future.

And if we don’t have people like us in tech companies and in the tech industry, we will be. We won’t be considered right in the future. So tell me a little bit about that experience of being a Latina in tech. Cause I know that we’ve spoken about you maybe being the only individual of color or the only Latina on your team.

Tell us a little bit about that experience. 

Viry: It’s been a wild ride, um, thinking about it. I always tell folks, I didn’t strongly identify as Latina when I first joined tech, I, most of my life into my early twenties, I felt the pressure to belong and to fit in, and that definitely stems from, uh, having immigrant parents.

You know, that was what they told us to do. Um, don’t stand out, you know, blend in with the herd. Uh, and that was, I really took that to heart to the point that, you know, When I went to college, I went by Anna, I didn’t go by VD. I really just kind of wanted to be part of the broader group. And I took that identity with me into, into Google.

Um, especially because my first job was in customer service and I was dealing with small to medium businesses. And I’d be on calls where folks would say, I want to talk to someone in the U S you know, if your name was too weird, whatever they define that they would say, you’re not in this country of transferring over to the U S side or question and questioning their intellect based on their name, or if they had some sort of accent, which was terrible.

It was not the great, uh, place that I imagined starting off in tech, but I build thick skin. Um, And it was in that first job that I met a really good friend. She and I are still connected and she was a total badass. She embraced her Latinidad and she, she called things out and she wasn’t afraid to be her most authentic, unapologetic self.

And I’m just so happy that that resonated with me. Because I saw that and I said, I want that for myself. I want to be as proud of my background and my name and my upbringing as she is, because she’s amazing. Like she’s, she’s a total, um, leader and she has been at the company for, you know, we started at the same time.

And I remember we were in a conversation where we talked about the ways in which us as Latinas have, um, made adjustments. Transcribed For others so that we can make life easier for them. And that was the first time where I realized, wow, my name has been an adjustment for others. And it was, you know, whenever I’d go out and get coffee or the doctor anywhere, I loved life as Anna.

No one messed it up ever. Um, but if I, if they saw beauty, the Anna, it was, it was scary. It was like. What is this? Or they just call me Medina because Medina is also a first name. And they assumed that was my first name. They’re like, that’s easier than VD Vienna. So, um, so I had a really interesting relationship with my name and everything when I started the company and thanks to this person that I met, I switched jobs out of the customer sales side.

And when I went into HR, I saw that as like, um, like a rebirth and starting over and I introduced myself as VD. And it was, it was such a scary thing to do because, You know, I was carrying my old network of folks and new Ms. Anna, and going into this new space as VD, and it was also HR, and I was the youngest one, um, and oftentimes the only person of color in Seattle, I moved into the Seattle office at that time, and, um, You know, in my head, I was thinking, was this a good time to switch?

I, maybe Anna would be easier because I’m in Seattle. There’s not a lot of diversity. Um, but I stuck it through everyone was super welcoming. Um, I got a few questions about my name and I told them, you know, I’m just at a phase in my life where I really want to embrace my identity. I want to be proud of where I come from.

It’s really important to me. It adds value and, you know, there’s not much more to it. And I like VD because. Viridiana is reserved for my parents when I’m in trouble. I’m like, no one calls me. So we, um, yeah, I went through that, through that journey and it, that, that was the start, but I think all throughout my time at Google, there’s good days and there’s bad days.

There’s situations where I, I really felt like leaving because I felt like people didn’t respect, um, diversity. Uh, there were situations where You know, I would get confused for the waitstaff or the helpstaff because I always talk to them and I’d be having conversations with them in Spanish, um, or oftentimes the door would get closed on me and I had to prove that I worked there, you know, show me your badge, show me you actually work here, um, or, you know, being told, you know, you can’t come into this meeting room.

Like, do you belong here? Someone verbatim asking me, do you belong here? Jokingly, but also, you know, With all the layers of identity, it just becomes a very nuanced question. Um, and then, you know, it definitely didn’t feel great. I think, especially within tech, there’s a hierarchy where there is the software engineers who, you know, Tech exists with software engineers.

We don’t have tech without them. And then me being not only a woman of color, but also in HR and being the youngest one. Oftentimes in these spaces, there are just a lot of things that made me feel less than and, um. I didn’t feel like I had the support system to battle that. So oftentimes it was me just kind of hanging with my head low, figuring out who on my team I could trust to have these conversations or just have space to say, this was a shitty thing that happened.

Um, and. As I started finding my people, there was an event that we have at Google called the Latinx Student Leadership Summit. And I got to work on, uh, an event where we invite 50 students from across the country to, you know, just come together, learn about tech. We prepare them for the interview. And that was the first time where the organizer of the event, my really good Josh, who’s now at Netflix.

He empowered me to Embrace my identity. He was like, Gary Danny matters. We need this for this job without your experience. We can’t do this program. This is what makes it. Um, he really pushed me and made me feel valued and seen. And since then I was like, okay. These are my people. My voice truly matters and I will not be quiet while also balancing, you know, the corporate politics of when can I speak up who’s in the room?

Who has my back? I think communities at that point, I realized it was really important. Like I had my one friend from my customer sales time that I reached out to, but I saw the power of having a network of having a village behind you to say, Not just, Hey, I’m having a shitty day, but here’s the situation.

What are we going to do? How can we be strategic about changing the narrative or changing things with the company to make it better? Not just for ourselves. I think that was one of the great things about the people I worked with. It was never just for us. It was for us and who’s to come. And we wanted the next people coming in to have a significantly better experience and knowing that, you know, it’s like, Oh, we survived this.

It doesn’t mean everyone has to survive. They can just start off thriving. Beautiful. 

Erika: I just want to go back to, well first I want to validate that I think sometimes maybe whenever they’re listening they can maybe think like, Oh, like just be yourself. But I want to validate like the fact that when you are the eldest daughter of immigrant parents and what you were essentially conditioned to do was to try to fit in and to try to not take up space.

Right. And like this narrative, we hear so much in our culture of like, calladita te ves mas bonita, you have to be humilde, right. Don’t take up space. space. Like we hear all of these narratives. And if you don’t speak Spanish, what I said that translates to you look prettier when you’re quiet. So like, don’t be too loud.

Don’t take up too much space. Be humble. Uh, and between those narratives and you being this eldest daughter where you have this responsibility of not just your well being, but even your entire family’s well being right, like Your parents, your younger siblings, and then to be in the tech space and then to land a job as big as Google, like the last thing you want to do is throw it away.

So it makes so much sense that you were like, let me not be too loud. Let me not take up that much space until you saw an example of how that was done and how it was possible and what that was able to do. So I just validate like why we need more people of color, why we need more diversity. in these tech spaces and how having this friend available to you was just visible to you was a big change.

So I know that you mentioned that there was this conference and whenever you and I cross paths, I know that you were, um, like mentoring and coaching college students.

So was that conference, what kicked off mentorship and how did you find fulfillment in, in that space? Yeah, 

Viry: It’s a really good question. Actually, it started before that conference. Um, I, Google used to have this internal program where you could volunteer to go to one of the universities they were working with and recruit college talent for their internships or their entry level roles.

And so I signed up for it. I want to say about a year into my time at the company. And I got matched to FIU, Florida International University, and I got to go to Florida. I was having a really great time there. And I went with 2 software engineers. I remember, and it was really interesting because I’m super outgoing when I’m in front of people.

I try to get the crowd hype and, um. Students don’t always want to get hype. It’s a little cringy, but they introduced me to all these really great, uh, students. They were alum and we did a session introducing them to Google and all the opportunities. And I remember, you know, it was me and 2 male software engineers at the end of that session, a group of women came to me and they said, you’re the 1st Latina.

I’ve ever met that works in tech. And it took everything for me to not cry in that moment, to realize the impact that my presence was having. And then. You know, it was emotional. And then at the same time, I felt bad because I was like, I don’t even work in time, like I have no technical skills. Um, they were software engineers.

They were on the computer science track and I was like, wow, if only I could have found a Latina or gotten a Latina to come join me, um, that was a software engineer here so that, you know, even just having that connection. And so they were asking me a lot of questions. They’re picking my brain and. I don’t know, I guess in my world I’d always been so closed off to realize.

How much of a privilege being in these spaces were and how important it was to show up for others. Um, and that moment landed me my next job at Google where I moved into an event recruiting role. I was hosting events across the country to attract industry talent, but it was that moment where I was like, students need us.

You know, I, my job ended up working with industry talent, but yeah. I said, we need to be there before that. We need to be there before they’re in the industry. We need to let them know from very young age that they matter, that they have what it takes us to get through and they need to see it happening.

And so, from that moment on, I kept volunteering internally at the company through these programs and then. Something I don’t talk about too often, but I am a Posse scholarship recipient. And so, um, if you haven’t heard about Posse, their whole thing is that you’re more likely to graduate college if you have your Posse with you.

And so they send you with 9 or 10 other students from your city to go to a college out of state, usually, um, and they do that. Have you go through a program for, you know, the, the year before you go into college and then all throughout college, you meet with your posse so that you have that connection point and that support system to get through higher education.

And so, when I moved back to Chicago. I linked back up with them, and I said, Hey, I’ve been mentoring college students through Google, and that’s been super impactful. And now I also want to give back to, um, you know, my scholarship program. Y’all were really big part as to why I ended up by Google in the 1st place, you know, prepared me.

You partnered me with great mentors. So let me pay it forward and, um. It’s just been another way to also kind of get out of my Google bubble where, you know, Google is a big brand, everyone knows it. And I wanted to make sure I was opening up opportunities for folks that don’t have as easy access to someone who works at the company to say, Hey, like I’m here.

I can be that initial connection to the network. I’ve grown internally. 

Erika: How amazing. And you know, as you were talking, I wrote down, You can find purpose within your career because I think a lot of people feel like they can’t explore the things that are fulfilling to them or the things that they’re curious about within their job.

But a lot of times, I mean, you, you were the one who volunteered, right? Like you saw that you enjoyed working with college students and you kept volunteering and then you even took it a step further to even go outside of Google and do it within like Posse scholarship, which is amazing. And I think people feel like, Oh my gosh, I have to go find my thing.

And it’s always going to be like either with entrepreneurship or with like the perfect job, but there’s so many ways of making your actual career more fulfilling. And this is a prime example. And I always talk about like, when I was in tech, I was curious about becoming a yoga instructor and I went through yoga teacher training.

And then I became the yoga instructor for the tech company. And it was like, they paid me for that on the side too. And so there’s so many ways of bringing purpose into your career. And, um, I wanted to talk about like connecting your identity to career and to accomplishments. But I think even before we get into that conversation.

I want to go back to the fact that you are the eldest daughter of immigrant parents. Like we’ve talked a lot about this inside of Courage Driven Latina. We’ve talked a lot about this one on one and you know, I, just the fact that like you have gotten yourself to where you’ve gotten with no real mentorship within your family.

Like you are the one blazing the trail and to be a Posse scholar and to be working, to have worked at Google and you’ve moved around, you’ve lived in different States. And, um, Are you a homeowner? Yes. Yeah. And I was like, I feel like she is, but for some reason I wasn’t sure yet to be a homeowner. I mean, like these are so many accomplishments without having a ton of support and guidance.

Like you are the one that is giving the support and the guidance to your family. So tell us a little bit about the pressures of being the eldest daughter of immigrant parents. 

Viry: Oh my goodness, where to begin? So many pressures, um, I, I remember when I first went to college, my dad wasn’t happy because I, even though I got a scholarship, it’s always been, I’m, I’m definitely, uh, my father’s daughter.

He and I are so alike. And he is always the one I want to impress and get validation from. My mom’s always been a free spirit and she’s always more open minded. So I kind of assume that she’s on my side all the time and that I don’t have to sway her as much. And she’s, she’s always been supportive. She’s like, you know, I don’t love it, but you’ll figure it out.

I trust that you’ll figure it out, which I really appreciate. My dad’s a lot more hesitant. And so. Every, I feel like after I left, um, Chicago to go to college to go to work, it was a lot of me fighting my dad and seeking his approval because despite the accomplishments they were, he wasn’t happy because I was leaving.

And he comes from a very small town, um, Tuxpan Guerrero. And coming to this country, not having his parents, like there’s so much I’ve understood through therapy and just my reflection of like why he views things the way he does and he’s come a long way, but it’s so different from what he grew up with when very much a patriarchal culture.

And although he’s not super like machista, there’s definitely moments where that comes out because I’m a woman. And so him saying things like, you know, I remember he told me once, I wish it hadn’t been you that left home because you’re a woman. That should’ve been Your brothers that left and that hurt because I’ve always been so dang proud of, you know, in my family, people didn’t believe in me.

Like my broader family. Um, I have a 12 year old brother. We have an 18 ish year gap and people thought he was my kid. People like people in my family, they’re like, Oh, she got pregnant and her parents are hiding it and like, she’s not going to do much with her life. Um, I’ve had people tell my dad, you know, she’s not worth the educational investment.

She’s just going to find a man and like run away and get pregnant. And so every time I don’t do those things, I’m, I’m so proud. I’m like, y’all didn’t believe in me and look at what I’m doing. And so it, it’s so hard sometimes for me to like share that with my dad. Like, I just wanted to be proud because I’m a woman, like, don’t say that because I’m a woman, I shouldn’t be doing those things that I shouldn’t be a homeowner that I shouldn’t leave home that I shouldn’t, you know, go explore all these things, especially because you did it.

And I know you’re a man, but you, you did all these things. And my mom did all these things and, you know, you respect her decision. So respect mine. And it’s taken a lot of, um, massaging things into his brain, but yeah, it wasn’t until he heard it from other people, you know, when I went to college, he was like, no, you should stay in state.

I’ll pay for it. I’ll take out the loans. Don’t worry about it. And I was like, dad, I have a full tuition scholarship. Like, how would I turn that down? Down and like, I’ll basically go for free with financial aid. Like, I just can’t do that to you. I can’t do that to myself. And so I left and then the plan was to come back to Chicago and he is super excited about that.

And then when I told him I got the job at Google. In mountain view, California, and I’d be moving to California. He was not happy. He was like, what are you doing? You know, you should, you should come back home. I had interned with all state insurance and they were interested in hiring me full time. And. I didn’t, I didn’t finish the interview process because I got Google.

I knew I wanted that. And he was very adamant about, he’s like, you should go into insurance. It’s right here. What are you doing? What are you going to California? What is this Google thing? Um, he didn’t realize how big it was until he would tell people about it. He’s like, oh, like, you know, with college. Oh, yeah, my daughter got a scholarship and then they’re like, oh, that’s so amazing.

Like, you know. She must be super smart, blah, blah, blah. And then he warmed up to the idea like, Oh yeah, like it’s so good that you went and like, I’m so proud of you. And then when I went to, to Google, he, he didn’t get it. And then when he would start wearing the Google shirts, um, people were like, Oh, like, how did you get a Google shirt?

And he’d tell them and then they’d tell him how great it was and blah, blah, blah. And so he was like, now he’s really proud. He always wears Google shirts. But it definitely hasn’t been easy and I’ve questioned a lot of times if I shouldn’t move forward with the decision because I seek my dad’s approval so much.

I, I don’t like confrontation. I’m very much sometimes a pacifist to a fault. Um, I’m such, I’m such a yes girl. I, I want to please my parents. I’m a parent pleaser. And so most of my life I grew up doing what they wanted. And you know, these big things of, um, Going out of state for college, moving cross country.

I did it a couple of times when I moved up to Seattle too. They weren’t happy about that. Um, it’s always been questioning, like, do I have the strength to fight my parents expectations for the sake of what I think is best for me? And I say that because. I, I never dreamt of working at Google, and I always feel bad saying that because a lot of people do dream of working at this company.

And for me was I just need a job. I need a job that will help me and my family get ahead and as I was pursuing all these things. I wasn’t chasing my dream. I was just chasing what I thought was the next best thing for me, where I knew I wanted a career at the company. I knew I wanted to grow. I was excited about going from customer sales to HR.

I really want to get into HR. And so doing these things was, it was hard because it wasn’t just fighting the expectations of society. Had placed on me, but also my parents are like, what are you doing? What do you mean you’re not coming back home? What do you mean you’re going to go live solo in Seattle?

What do you know about Seattle? Um, and then not having them understand my job. When I would tell them like, Hey, it kind of sucks. I’m the only Latina in this space. Um, it feels really weird. And then telling me like, but you have such a good job. Why are you complaining? Don’t complain. Be thankful that you have this job.

Don’t think about those things. Why does it matter? Why does your identity matter? You know, hearing that from my parents is so hard, but it’s also then choosing, do I sit down and have this conversation with them to explain it? Or do I save my own energy and just say, you know what? You’re right. Like, let’s just, let’s leave this conversation for another day because I don’t, I don’t have what it takes to navigate this.

And deciding like, is the, what is the outcome of this conversation? So I don’t know if that really answers the question point is being the eldest daughter has been hella stressful and it doesn’t feel good that I sometimes find I have to fight my parents and their ideals and, and doing that in a, in a, in a way where I’m like, I don’t dislike our culture, but it doesn’t mean that it’s perfect.

And I can still do things and do them better. And that’s okay. I still respect it. It just needs to be different. Totally. Yes. 

Erika: You said so many good things. So first I just want to commend you on your courage to share that. You seek your parents approval because we all do whether we admit it or don’t admit it and The fact that you can speak about it openly yet Yet, you’ve still accepted the scholarship.

You still went out of state to go to school You still accepted the Mountain View Google job and then you went to Seattle and then you bought a home like despite having these Parent pleasing tendencies that we all have, you still have had the courage to do what’s best for you and your parents have always ended up catching up to like understanding, even if they don’t understand in that moment, right?

It’s kind of like when I left my tech job and my mom thought I was crazy. And now she’s like, I’m so glad. But at that time she couldn’t understand it. And, you know, our parents are allowed to have their own opinion. And it’s going to hurt us sometimes, but they have their own perception of reality. And even this idea of being the only Latina in the room, they probably never had that experience because they probably worked amongst other immigrants.

Right. So like they’ve always had. Connection and community. And they don’t know what it’s like to be almost this generation. That’s like at home, it’s like, we are very, very Latina, but in the workplace, we have to show up as this different identity and like, they don’t really understand the code switching that’s necessary in order to stay at a job, be a six, be successful at the job.

And, um, like I’ll never forget when I started working in tech, I had two roommates and we were like putting things away in the kitchen and I put the pots in the oven because it’s like what we did at home. And then like one girl, the girl was Persian and the guy was white. And the girl was like, Oh my God, I turned on the oven and there was pots in there.

And she was like, so taken aback. And I’m like, this is why sometimes we code switch. Right. Cause like, even though it was such a normal thing in my Mexican household to have pots in the oven, my. White roommates, my American roommates were not used to that. Um, so thank you for sharing that. I think a lot of people feel seen with your, everything you shared about being the eldest daughter.

As you know, we tend to have a lot of eldest daughters inside of Courage Driven Latina. So I I’m the only daughter, so I’m the eldest, but I’m also the youngest. And I feel like my brother, my brother is the oldest, but the fact that he’s a guy, It’s just like, not the same. He has different expectations on him, right?

Just similar to you. Like, I remember, uh, like I wasn’t allowed to play soccer because I was a girl. Like, there were so many things I couldn’t do because. I was female and I remember being so upset about it even as a kid, but look at us now. 

Let’s talk a little bit about identity, which is what you were talking about earlier. Let’s talk a little bit about identity within the workplace. So whenever you and I cross paths, there was, I remember You talking about pretty much like your identity and the way that I say this with a lot of love, but I want to remember that you say your worthiness was tied to your job.

And maybe you didn’t say it exactly in those words, but I remember on a coaching call, we were talking about this, tell us what was going on in the workplace and like how, cause I think a lot of people can relate to this, right? Like their, their job title, or maybe their, the amount that they’re paid that directly reflects how they view themselves.

And their worthiness level, which is not true, but I think at some point we’ve probably all experienced this. So if you feel comfortable, can you share with us what you were going through? 

Viry: Yes. No, that’s been a big part of my healing and transformational journey is, uh, untangling my worth from my job title.

Um, and I’ve been trying to figure out, like, where does this stem from? Like, how did I attach myself so much to my job? Uh, part of it is I’ve been at this company for so long. I started off as an intern and then converted full time. And so it’s the only place I’ve ever known, um, throughout my twenties now, I’ll be 30 in a couple months.

So like all of my twenties were spent at this company. They kind of, uh, I, I internally, I tell folks like I’m Google grown, like anything I know is, is that this company. And so because they came to me with such an immense package, um, in terms of, I, you know, younger me could never have imagined working at a place like I do now and all of the benefits and perks that I get, that there was a lot of gratitude attached to it of like, oh my gosh, I owe my job everything I am now because without my job, I wouldn’t.

Be successful. I wouldn’t be a homeowner. I wouldn’t be able to provide for my parents. I wouldn’t be able to have trips, all these things that I’ve gotten because of the money they’ve given me, um, in my head was framed as it’s things to them. And so I am them. I am the job. And I remember there’s like two parts to my time at the company.

There is like this first half, um, where all I could think about and talk about was work. And whenever I was out, even at parties, I mean, partying in SF, you bump into all the tech people. And so everyone was tech and I felt like it was, um, it was always like a competition, like who’s got the better things going on or whatever.

And then I moved up to Seattle and I remember I had a couple of college friends visit me and all I could talk about was work. I felt valuable because of work and it’s because I kept giving and it kept giving me money and opportunity. And I was like, Oh, this is just this endless cycle of I give and give and give everything.

It gives me some compensation back. And this compensation allows me to do all these amazing things for my family, for myself. Um, but I wasn’t happy. I was, I really, I was miserable. I wasn’t taking vacation. I wasn’t taking care of myself. Um, I, I dreamt about work. I still do sometimes. I like, I like really intense work dreams where I think I’m still at work.

Um, and I, and I can’t wake up because I’m like, I’m at work. Great. And then I wake up, I’m like, no, I have to actually go to work now. Um, but I, um, Right before I joined CourageDriven Latina, there was just, something had sparked in my head where I was like, I need to not be so work focused. And I had been trying it with the blog, um, back in like 2019, but it wasn’t really hitting.

And then I was doing a recruiting job where I got to hire intern students. And it was a full circle moment because I was hiring for the same program that got me into Google. And so it was so special for me to be part of that process. Now I’m being the other side and helping other people land their dream jobs and get them into Google.

And I realized that. I cared so deeply about this mission that it was further tying my worth into it because I wanted others to have the same opportunities I did, especially students of color or students who didn’t see themselves at the company, you know, regardless of their identity, it’s for whatever reason they thought like, Oh, I’m not going to make it there.

And to like, help them see like how amazing they were that they belonged here. and that job was as special as it was damaging. Because as much as I love working with my candidates, opening doors, being part of that process, I again, I cared so much that I was damaging my own worth and my own capacity to care for myself because everything was going to the job.

Um, also students were weird hours. I forgot about that life. So it was always working. I was, I was, I was going to email to like 10 PM 3 in the morning. Like, Hey, I need to reschedule my interview. Hey, I’m really stressed out. And I would always try to show up for them because that mattered to me. I wanted them to succeed.

And. I burnt out really hot, really fast. Um, there was, there was, I remember this one day in my house, my boyfriend came in and found me face down on the hardwood floor. Not very comfortable. I was just sobbing. Like I just couldn’t get out. I was sobbing so hard and he’s like, Oh my gosh, what’s wrong? And I told him, you know, I got a bad evaluation at work and it doesn’t feel great because I care so much about my job.

And I’m giving it my, I’m giving my heart to my job and I’m not being recognized for it. They’re telling me I’m not doing enough and now I feel like a failure of a person because something I care about so deeply I’m being told isn’t good enough. Um, and that was, that was a really hard time in my life. I remember, uh, you know, it was almost like a moment where I was depressed because something I had fought so hard for wasn’t panning out the way I expected.

And I remember I went to therapy. I ultimately decided I had to leave that job. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done because I chose myself and normally I hadn’t chosen myself before. When I went to college, I tell folks, I didn’t know if I wanted to go to college, but it was expected that I had to go to college because I had to achieve the American dream.

So I did it and I love learning and I love structure. I worked out in my favor. Um, like, so I did it, but I don’t know that I ever felt within me. Like, yes, college is the plan. And then when I went to Google, it was. Obviously a really amazing opportunity, but it wasn’t like, Oh my gosh, this was my dream. I was like, this is really great for me and my family.

And I’m just going to go after it because my family needs this. Right. I need to prove that I’m successful. And then throughout my career changes, you know, I made the switch into HR, but it was always like, I need to keep working so that I can build a career for my family. Continue to like buy into this, uh, ideal successful person.

But when I landed in this recruiting job that I loved and it didn’t work out, I was like, okay, I need to find something that allows me to prioritize and heal myself away from work. Because I gave work too much, it burned me out, I’m miserable, I don’t know who I am anymore, I don’t know what my purpose is, um, I felt really lost.

And so when I came to Courage Driven Latina, I, I was like, in this space of, I know what I need to do, I’m very self aware of what’s happening, I just don’t know how to do it, I don’t know how to get out of this funk, I’m in a new, I was in a new job at that time, like I found a new job. I’m not really sure what it is, but it allows me to detach from work, but I’m still not fully detached because it still holds so much weight to my identity and still matters so much.

Like, I wasn’t just VD the sister, girlfriend, daughter. I was VD the Googler first. And then everything else, and I wasn’t showing up for myself. Um, and so it was, it was a lot of untangling and mindset work that I really had to work on to make sure that, you know, work is here and then be the person is here.

But I also didn’t know who I was. It’s my whole life. I’ve been pleasing others. I, I did all the things I did for my parents and then, um, you know, coming to a point where I don’t want to live for my parents. I want to live for me, but I don’t know what that looks like because I’m constantly seeking my parents approval.

I want my dad to give me that, like, thumbs up. Um, you know, now I have a partner and I’m like, I want you to do great. I want to help you do great, but I don’t know what it looks like for just Vini to be great on her own, um, or who she is without all these identities. Um, and that made me a little sad is because I was like, I don’t, there’s gotta be more to me than work and my family.

I mean, they’re great things and I love them. Don’t get me wrong. I’m so grateful, but that can’t be it. There has to be something else. 

Erika: And what did you, like, what else was there? What did you learn or what happened? Like once you joined? Courage driven, Athena, because when you joined, you thought you wanted to work on a business.

I love how you were so wrapped up in work and you were like, I need to go start a business. Like, let’s just throw more on her already really full plate. 

Viry: Yes. Um, so I, one of the things I did when I was going through a funk in my recruiting job, I, I took, uh, coaching classes with the Coactive training Institute.

There you go. And it was the first time I got out of like my Google bubble completely with all these other folks who wanted to coach and then do coaching work. And it was super impactful and I loved it. And everyone in there was starting a coaching business. Um, or they were managers at the companies that they were working at and that’s how they were leveraging their skills.

And I was, again, one of the youngest in the room. And I was like, dang, what am I doing here? Like, I’m not a manager. I’m not on track for being a manager. And I don’t think I want that. And now I have this coaching. Thing, what am I going to do? And so I felt pressure to build a business. I remember I worked with a different business coach for a little bit, and I had this coaching program and then I did a launch because my recruiting job was pretty hectic.

And then, layoffs were hitting tech really hard. And I was like, well, now I really have to have a business because if I get laid off, I need something. I need to be productive. Like anything I work on outside of work has to have purpose. It has to have value. And unless it produces like a quantifiable outcome, there’s no value in it was my mindset.

So when I, I saw your page, I started following you. I’m like, yep, this is it. I’m going to go in. I’m going to come out with a business. I’m going to really do it this time. And it’s going to be great. I’m going to need job. I’m going to have the space for it. I have this coaching thing I did. And then in our conversations and, you know, with the mindset work.

I realized I didn’t want a business. I like, that was part of why I couldn’t launch. I was resisting it because I actually didn’t want it. Um, I didn’t want to be, uh, coaching others, um, as my full time or part time job, you know, as fulfilling as it was, uh, to help others and like the staff. The thought of booking calls and being in spaces with others just doesn’t fulfill me.

And then, I also realized that I wasn’t pursuing it for the right reason because I was so focused on, I need a backup plan of layoffs happen, but this wasn’t a passion. It wasn’t a purpose. It was just like, I need to do this. And so in our conversations, I realized what I needed was play. I needed more fun in my life.

I was so consumed by my work and then by, I really need to launch a business cause I need to be purposeful in this life. And if I’m not purposeful, what am I doing? Um, and so I remember in our first chat, you encouraged me to bake and it was so. Relieving to hear that because I was, I was like, I really don’t want more work.

Like, I’m so tired. I think I was so processing everything that happened, um, from burning out before that, the thought of doing more work wasn’t appealing, but I was like, I have to do it. This is just a thing. Like I put myself on this path and that’s what I need to do. And then you’re like, actually you need to bake.

And I was like, this is wild. And I’m like, I don’t know, like, um, but I loved it. I’m feeling great. 

Erika: The, the courage project rules are, it has to excite you, it has to scare you, and it has to make you or the world a better place. And by making you a better person, the world becomes a better place. And the coaching business did not excite you at all, and that’s why I was like, yep, that’s definitely not it.

Viry: No, no, it didn’t. And I. Thank you. I couldn’t see that. And I think one of the things that I learned from that, and it, it was like a failed attempt is like two failed attempts. It’s like, I did it once I had a program I didn’t launch and I went again. And then I realized I didn’t want it. So I didn’t launch.

 I think I wrote this in a blog post, or I, or I said this during a talk I did, but being good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it. That was what I learned from this. Um, yes, because when I was in my coaching program, not to toot my own horn, but I got a lot of really good feedback.

People were like, you’re a really good coach. You’re so natural at it. Like, you’re so good at listening and like being in tune with the person. Um. I was like, Oh, this is great. I get like positive feedback. Like I’m good at it really. People want to feel like they’re good at stuff. And so I was like, this is my gift to the world.

I have to do it. Um, but I didn’t want to. And so I was like, it’s okay to have the skills. I’m like, I know I have what it takes to build a business. Um, and I think that’s part of why I was so hard on myself and I kept trying was because I kept thinking, Oh, you’re not doing it because you don’t think you’re good enough or, you know, you’re just being lazy, but in reality I just didn’t want it.

And when I, when I got clear on that, yeah, I had to tell myself like, you’re good at this and you are not going to do it. You are going to do something else that excites you, that fulfills you. And these skills that you have, they will always be there. So that, so that means I can do coaching another time, or I can bring those gifts up.

Whenever needed, like I still mentor. And so that’s something I’ll leverage. 

Erika: You literally are coaching people. You do not need a whole business to do it when you’re already mentoring students and even just within your work at Google, like being a good leader and being good at communicating with people, being a good listener, being able to coach, like that’s only going to help you in your job.

And I have no doubt that like, if you decided that you did want to, uh, business in the future, it’s, it’s going to happen. But with where you are right now. It was, you were doing it for the wrong reasons, which you just admitted right yourself. And I wanted to go back to, you made a comment about a thought you had about yourself that you were just being lazy.

And I think that that thought as Latinas or as people of color, or I’m just like from underserved communities that sometimes when we don’t do things, we can have that narrative of like, I’m just being lazy or I’m being unmotivated or, and we shame ourselves in that way. When like, Okay, what’s the other possibility?

What if it’s not the right time for it? What if it’s not actually what you want to do right now, right? There’s so many other truths. And for you, it was not that you were lazy. I mean, you just told us how much you’ve worked through college, how much you’ve worked at Google, the different jobs you’ve had.

Like, lazy is literally not in your DNA. I 

Viry: think I get it sometimes. 

Erika: Perfect for rest. Yes. That is something we’re working towards, like not just you, like literally everybody who listens to this podcast, I think, but, um, so I think a big way or a big looking from the outside in, I don’t mean to make assumptions, but we do a challenge inside the program called the failure challenge.

Which helps you overcome the fear of failure, and we submit inside of our community any time that you take an action that could possibly result in failure. So like asking for a day off, asking somebody on a date, posting something on social media, right? These are all things that qualify for the failure challenge, and you won this challenge not once, but twice.

So the last two times that we’ve done it. You have been the winner of this challenge. So you’ve taken so much action and I really feel like, correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel like by removing that fear of failure and allowing yourself to take action, it’s how you ended up with so much clarity. Would you say that that’s true?

Viry: Yes. Okay. I’m sorry.

Erika: Okay. And in your entry survey, whenever you joined courage driven Latina, Uh, one of the questions I have is, have you tried to like work on your goals already? How did it go? Where did you get stuck? And you said, my fear of failure. I’m so caught up with getting, I’m so caught up with getting it just right.

And it holds me back yet. But here we are as the winner of the person who is taking action, despite. The fear of failure, right? Like you won the failure challenge twice. So tell us a little bit about how your relationship with failure has changed since joining the program. 

Viry: Oh my goodness. I remember, um, I don’t know if it was, uh, it was probably set as my first challenge, but you often remind us of like our ghetto first draft.

And that framing really, really helped her. It’s like, Oh, you know, you can’t get to your hundred podcasts. If you don’t do the first one, you can’t move forward. If you don’t just put something out there. Um, and it was about reframing it to what’s the best thing that could happen. And in addition to that, it’s like, Believing in my capacity to know that if it doesn’t work out, I’m capable of managing whatever the outcome is.

Um, that was a really big thing. And so I remember the first time around it was, I, I, I, I crave structure. I love it. Like the more structure there isn’t something, the better it works with me. And so when you were like, you have to submit daily and like, it’s for this period. I was like, okay. Okay, like you have a goal and it wasn’t so much about the prize, although I love talking with you, but I was like, okay, I have a goal and just daily.

What am I going to do every day? I remember the first time around. I was journaling about it. I was like, okay, here’s what I did. Here’s what happened. 9 times out of 10, maybe 10 out of 10, nothing terrible happened. Like, I would get like all this anxiety build up and then it was like. Oh, I posted and it was fine.

You know, it’s like, Oh, it didn’t get a lot of engagement, but like, it’s out there. Like I did it, like I put it together and it’s out there. And then that was a win. Um, or, you know, I took a day off of work and nothing caught on fire. And if it did, that wasn’t my problem. You know, it’s like, so I’m just going to take care of it.

Like also like learning to trust my team. And trust others. I think that was one of the biggest things I learned with the failure to challenge. It’s not just about trusting yourself, but it’s about trusting those around you to help you navigate it to you. And I was like, Oh, if I take the day off, that means I trust my team to handle things and that.

It’s going to be okay. Or if I’m going to post on social media, I, I have folks that keep me accountable in, in our CDL group. Um, I know someone’s going to see it and like it and like that, you know, puts the barrier down. I’m like, okay, this matters to at least 1 person. And that’s 1 person that I actually have a connection with.

And that’s important to me. I’m going to get feedback from them. Um, and so learning to continue to build community. I think really helped with these failure challenges and made it seem like, no, this isn’t a failure. This is just trying something new. Exactly. And it’s gonna be okay. . 

Erika: Yeah. And the number one reason people don’t take action on their goals and dreams is because they don’t wanna fail.

Right. Just like your entry survey where you said, I wanna get it just right, but failure is required in order to be successful. And I think what worked so well with the failure challenge, and I remember your submissions, like some of them were like. I posted, I didn’t overthink. Another one was like, I took a day off.

And then I even remember you, um, posted ones where like there was an attempt to take a day off and you were like, I still ended up working a few hours. And you still were able to submit that and almost admit to like, all right, I tried this and it actually didn’t work, but it was all okay. 

 But the thing about the failure challenge is that we get to share Our wins and because the thing is you’re not just going to fail if you’re taking more action You’re also going to get more wins and some of them will be failures But there’s something about sharing it within community and then getting support from others and not hiding The failure which is what the human response is.

Like we want to hide our failures and then only share the success. But this challenge makes us lean into vulnerability and redefine the way that we see failure because we not only are failing ourselves, but we’re seeing other people fail. And to your point, nothing bad happens, right? Like, even if you don’t get the amount of views that you want, like nothing bad happens.

Like if anything, you feel more like confident and you feel more accomplished that you took. More action. 

Viry: Yes. And you said something key there, which is vulnerability. And it’s one of my values and it, you know, I always say like Instagram is such a highlight reel, but if you have more vulnerable moments, that’s where you create these deeper connections.

I think that’s what makes CDL so successful is that we’re not just showing up with like, here are all our wins, like, look at us. Go. It’s like, actually, here’s what we’re struggling with and let’s help each other out. And that has been The biggest, uh, I think win for me and one thing that drew me to CDL was the community aspect.

It’s like, I need community, like, identify that. It’s like, I want non tech people, although I know there’s some tech folks, and that’s still lots of love for them, but I’m like, I want more people and like, I want to also be exposed to knowing that there’s other women, other people out there. Trying the same things, playing themselves out there and kind of seeing their perspective, you know, uh, expanding my worldview because sometimes in the spaces we exist kind of, you know, to what we were talking about earlier, being like the only Latina in a room in tech, you get so used to like, I can only.

Like figure out how to succeed. There is no room for error, but when you find other people and you’re like, actually, let’s talk this out. So I can show up in these spaces as my best, better self. 

Erika: Exactly. This has been such a good conversation. We’ve talked about being, uh, Minority in the tech industry.

We’ve talked about the importance of being in the tech industry overall, like the challenges with bureaucracy. We talked about, um, being the eldest daughter of immigrants, as well as wanting to please our parents, validation from our parents. We talked about finding purpose in career. We talked about connecting our identity to work.

We talked about the fear of failure. We talked about a good amount. Is there anything that I did not ask you that, like, you want to share with the listeners? 

Viry: Um, 

Erika: it could be like a piece of advice or an epiphany or just anything that is on your mind. 

Viry: Yeah. I’ll start, I’ll start two things. So I think, um, to kind of share where I’m on my journey now is I’m in, I’m in the space of just, I love to write.

So now I’m writing a newsletter and creating content online. And that brings me a lot of joy and letting go of these metrics. I track them because I track everything and I love a good spreadsheet, but, um, it’s more about the joy in the process and not so focused on the end, uh, goal. Um, So there’s that piece where it’s like that, that’s been my fulfillment right now.

And then the other piece that I guess, like a piece of advice to share is, it’s okay to change, um, in all the ways that you can interpret change, um, whether it’s change yourself, change your mind. I mean, I tried launching this business twice and then I did it and then I went to baking and then I realized Making isn’t really doing it right now.

I need to do something else. Um, you know, I’m writing again and all these things, like giving yourself permission to change is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. 

Erika: Oh, that is so good. Cause we’re only going to keep changing, right? Like we hear this in tech all the time. Change is the only constant, but it’s so true for life.

I love that you said that VD because. Um, I’ve been thinking so much about Courage Driven Latina and what it, what exactly the program is because some people are working on businesses, other people are working on life. And, but in general, everybody’s working on becoming a better version of themselves, whether it includes a business or not.

And what I actually came to is that Courage Driven Latina helps you change. Like it helps you either. Change your career, change how you view yourself. Like it helps you with transitions because sometimes we think we can’t change and we feel like we have to stay as we are, or to your point, like once we’ve made a decision, we feel like we have to stick with it to not quote unquote give up when like, no change is natural changes, normal.

And the more you were like, the less you resist change, the more growth you’re going to experience. So I love that piece of advice. And yeah, you’re the prime example of like. Business baking. And then, like, what would you say is your current courage project? Is it writing? 

Viry: Yeah, it’s writing. So I I’m really excited.

I last week I launched my newsletter Sunday Sparks by VD is what I named it. So weekly Sunday newsletter where. I’m alternating between kind of sharing what’s bringing me joy right now, or a story around the topic of, of happiness. And then every other week I kind of try to share, um, career development, personal development tips and tricks that I’ve learned, um, along the way.

So it’s been a really good way for me to share my experience, continue to connect with people. And it’s very fun for me. It’s very freeing to where. It doesn’t have to sound a certain way. I don’t have to code switch. I can just be myself through writing. Uh, and that’s always been like a passion of my writing.

So I’m really excited about that and figuring out how to tie that into storytelling on social media. So I would say that’s the latest courage project that I’m in. Well, finding time to bake because I still have a lot of baking supplies. 

Erika: We did. We talked about this during the last call that we had for the, for your prize of winning the failure challenge.

Um, I love this for you. I think this is a really good courage project and I know that we didn’t really get into like layoff anxiety that much in this episode. But I know that that was something that was really big when you first started the program because there were so many layoffs going on and there was just a lot of anxiety of like, Oh, my gosh, I have to do something else.

But I just want to remind you and everybody listening that you are the source of your abundance, right? It’s not Google is not responsible. for your abundance. If Google as a company went under, you could go find another job, right? Or you could go start the business. You could literally turn your baking into a business.

Like there’s so many things that you can do. There’s so many possibilities. But sometimes we feel like our current job is what’s providing our safety, but like you’re providing your own safety and you’re providing your own abundance. And I mean, I remember being in tech and it was so hard for me to leave my job because I believed that as well, which I feel like you’re already on, on the other side of that, but I love this courage project for you.

Thank you so much for coming on. And I love your full name, Vidy Diana, but now I know that I shouldn’t call you that because it’s reserved for your parents. 

Viry: Yes. Only when I’m in trouble. Um, no one’s, yeah. No one’s ever called me that. Um, is it now? It’s just, I hear it. I think it’s pretty. I’ve, my name’s grown on me.

Erika: Like, I feel like it’s a Latina Bridgerton name. Um, honestly, I’ve never even watched Bridgerton, but I’ve seen all the reels about it. I know. I love that. Very fancy. Like, hi, I’m Viviana with like a little cup of tea. I don’t know. 

Viry: Yes. Yes. No, I, Oh my gosh. I’m going to use that now. When I, when I like talk about my name, like it’s.

It’s the Mexican Bridgerton version.

Oh my goodness, I didn’t know, it’s really pretty, but I go by Vidi and I use a Y because that’s my, um, I’ve never said this or shared it out loud, but that’s my own form of rebellion because there’s no Y in Vidi Vienna, but it’s V I R I, but I do Y. So I’m like, that’s right. I’m sassy. I’m rebellious. I’m not conforming, but I’m still, I’m still me.

Erika: I love it. I freaking love it. VD, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for being Encouraged Driven Latina. Um, it has been just such a pleasure to work with you and see you evolve and allow yourself to change. Um, you said so many amazing things and I’m sure people hearing this podcast episode resonated with all the different topics that we talked about.

Thank you so much. And I’ll see you on our next call. 

Viry: Yeah. Sounds great. Thanks so much, Erica. 

Erika: Oh, wait, where can people find you? I’m so sorry. You already told us the name of like the newsletter. So like, do you want to give us, is it Instagram a good place? Yeah. Just tell us where people can find you. 

Viry: Yes.

You can find me on Instagram at hey. beery. On my blog, Hey Viri. com or on LinkedIn, I actually am pretty active there sometimes. Uh, Vidi, Diana, Medina, I do use my full name for LinkedIn because that’s important. Perfect. 

Erika: Okay. Make sure that you connect with Vidi. If anything resonated from this episode, be sure to let us know, tag us both or send us DMs.

All right, Vidi, I’ll see you on our next call. Thank you!