I can’t tell you how many people I’ve worked with who couldn’t progress in their lives because they were afraid of the uncertainty. They were afraid of not knowing what happened next – so afraid that it paralyzed them!

But I’ve learned that uncertainty is where growth happens. Because when you are uncertain about the outcome, anything is possible.

In this week’s episode, we’ll be talking about how to navigate change and uncertainty even when it’s scary. I’ll give you the tips I learned during uncertain times and how I got through it. I’ll also tell you why you’ll get through it too. 

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Episode Transcript:

Erika: Hello and welcome back to this week’s episode of Ch*ngona Revolution podcast. We are going to talk all about change and uncertainty and how to deal with it even when it is difficult, because we all know that change is not easy. Easy, even when it’s good change, we still resist change. So before we get into this episode, I figured I would give you all a little update.

I spent the holidays in Mexico. My mom has a retirement home she hasn’t moved to yet because she hasn’t retired, but she has a retirement home in Puerto Vallarta. So I have gone there a couple of times over the last I went right after Thanksgiving and then I went again to spend the holidays there with my family, with my mom, with my brother and his family.

And it was so much fun. We went to the beach, we did all these fun things and I came back because I am going to re-film all of the curriculum for Courage Driven Latina. And I was like, perfect. I’m going to be home alone and really focus and get this done. It’s done. And the day that I landed, I started to feel a little nauseous.

And then the next day, literally couldn’t eat anything, very upset stomach, couldn’t hold anything down. And I was like, okay, something made me sick. And I was fighting a stomach bug for about three days. Couldn’t really eat anything. I was extremely weak. And then I got the flu. I got some type of cold, some type of bug, and then I was all congested.

So I am just now recovering. I’m still a little mucusy, a little bit of sinus pressure. So if I sound like my voice is a little raspy or if I sneeze, just giving you all a heads up, but I am hoping that you are all staying healthy. I know a lot of people were sick. A lot of my friends, a lot of my family.

So I hope you are all staying healthy and taking your vitamins and drinking water and getting your movement in and doing all the things that help you feel sane. I also just want to point out that because I had in my mind that I was going to come back and work on this curriculum and then I got sick and I was stuck.

In bed for a lot of days, it really got to me, it wasn’t that I was feeling physically sick. I was mentally having a very difficult time not being productive when I had already decided that that was the time I was going to be productive. And I just want to normalize that. So if you ever experience the anxiety around being sick because you can’t get things done, you are not alone.

It is our conditioning, especially as Latina, Latinos, and Latinas. as first gen, as children of immigrants, right, where we’re so used to like getting things done. And I had already told myself like, Oh, I’m back from vacation. No more rest time. You already got the rest. Now it’s time to work. And then my body was like, yep, no, you’re not done.

And I did not start to feel better until January 2nd, which happens to be the day that Mercury was finer, finally direct, which I actually don’t know that much about astrology. But I thought it was really weird that I not only physically felt better, but I felt like an energetic block was removed. And then I got a notification from this app that I have, it’s called the Pattern app.

And then it says like, yay, Mercury is finally direct. And I was like, I wonder if that is what was influencing my, my mood. I don’t know. Anywho, let’s get back to the episode about change and uncertainty and how to deal with it even when it’s hard. As we are stepping into this new year and planning with what our intentions are and maybe going to vision board parties or maybe creating our own vision boards.

I created a vision board and I recorded a video for my clients showing them how I did it and I encouraged them to share theirs. So it’s very much a lot of like setting the intentions for the year and making plans and making decisions and just a lot of change. And while it’s really exciting to plan for a new year.

Change can be very difficult, especially because we could plan what we want, but what’s actually going to happen might not be exactly what we want, and how do we deal with things whenever we thought we were certain about what was going to happen and then something different occurs, right? Think about at the beginning of 2020, you maybe created a vision board, you maybe had plans for yourself, and then the pandemic hit.

In March, April, and nobody expected that and that was so much uncertainty and we saw just like the mental health crisis that occurred during that time when there was so much uncertainty and it made a lot of us feel unsteady, unstable, and it was very difficult to manage. So as we are stepping into this new year and maybe dealing with a lot of different change and maybe dealing with planning for a future and putting pressure on ourselves, right, because we kind of just like want to know and it’s human nature to want to know and it’s human nature to want certainty.

But we cannot have certainty, right? So like nobody knew that the pandemic was going to occur. oh, here’s like a perfect example. Like I was working at a tech company and it was like my favorite tech company of all the ones that I worked for. And I was like, okay, my stock from this company is going to be worth something one day.

And it’s the one I ended up leaving the last job I had. But just a few weeks ago, I went to a holiday party with one of my former coworkers from that company. She told me that the company went under. So the company no longer exists, which we all knew as a risk working for a startup, but there was almost this certainty of like, Oh yeah, it’s going to be bought.

Like, yeah, we have investors. We have all these people that are, that are investors. And then the company just no longer exists. And it’s like, nobody could have determined that that was what was going to happen. there was no certainty in like, oh, yeah, we’re going to IPO or become public. And if you haven’t worked in tech, this probably makes no sense to you.

But whenever you’re working at a startup, you’re typically given Options to buy stock. Once the company becomes public and you get these for free, usually as part of your kind of like signing on whenever they, they bring you on, they will offer you like salary and then stock as well. And then once the company becomes public, which means you could invest in it in the stock market, then you can sell your stocks and pretty much.

Get rich. Not really, right? But that’s everybody’s goal. And a lot, that happened for a lot of companies, like for Zoom when they went public, for Slack, I believe they’re public, I actually don’t know. Anyway, so it’s happened for a lot of different tech companies. And the people who were there early on like really did end up making a lot of money.

And that’s what I thought was going to happen for this company and the next thing I know it’s gone. So we, I mean sure you can think of many situations in your life when you were pretty certain that something was going to happen and then something else happened. So as we are Navigating wanting to feel certain about certain things, but also just navigating change.

It’s very difficult because our brain likes familiarity. Our brain wants the right answer. You know, we live in this educational system that has taught us that there’s a right and a wrong answer. And life is not black and white like that. There isn’t just a right answer or a solution. Or every time we come across a problem, we just want to immediately solve it.

And then our perfectionism comes up because it’s like, I just want to know. And how many times have you found yourself maybe saying the phrase, I just want to know, Oh man, I mean, I can give you maybe five different examples in my life at this moment where I’m going through something like that. I mean, something as simple as moving.

I’ve been wanting to move for about a year and something always happens that ends up keeping me back in the Bay Area. And I would make a decision and I’d say, okay, I’m going to move by this day. And then I would tell everybody who like was close to me. I was so excited about it. And then something would happen.

To get, like, pull me back to the Bay Area. So, right now, I am currently in the Bay Area. I am going to be traveling over the next few months. And I’ve just decided that I’m going to be where I’m going to be. And maybe my move right now is just to keep moving. And just to keep traveling and not try to figure it out.

And the moment that I just accepted not having an answer or a solution and just letting Whatever’s going to happen, happen. That is when I finally began to feel peace. So no more telling people where I’m going, when I’m going, because things have come up and they’ve changed. But 

Erika: our brain likes familiarity.

I was about to say this and then I got on a tangent, but I did not take any notes for this episode because I am just speaking to you from what I’m currently going through and what I know that my friends are going through and some of my clients, so I figured if we’re going through this together. You probably are, too.

 So, our brains really like familiarity. And they are going to resist anything that feels unfamiliar because anything that feels unfamiliar feels unsafe. And sleep researchers have actually found that when we sleep somewhere that’s not our bed, part of our brain stays a lot more active at night, especially that part of our brain, I believe it’s the left side of our brain, which is more susceptible to hearing sound because what they think is that our brain is trying to keep us protected when we’re sleeping in an unknown place.

So if you’re sleeping in a hotel or sleeping over a friend’s house or sleeping over a guy’s house, you are going to get a lower quality of sleep than if you were in your own bed. And you know this by traveling, right? If you go travel and then you come back and you’re in your bed, you’re like, Oh my gosh, this is so comfortable.

So that is just a very literal example of how our brains like familiarity because it is safe. Anything that is unfamiliar can feel unsafe. And mind you, we still have the brains that our ancestors had hundreds and hundreds of years ago, where yes, we could have been eaten by a lion as we were sleeping.

And our brains still look at this change as danger, but it’s no longer that same type of brain. Of danger, and that’s why even positive change is freaking scary. But if there’s one thing I have learned from working in the tech industry from that time that I did work in the tech industry is that the only thing that is constant.

In other words, the only thing that’s going to keep happening is that things are going to keep changing. And especially with something like technology, right? Where new technology can come out and it can make everything else irrelevant. I mean, look, TikTok came out and then Instagram was forced to pivot and bring on a similar product of short-form video.

Imagine if they never did that. Imagine if Instagram would have just stayed the same. So technology can change so quickly and it requires a lot of pivoting and a lot of changing and in our lives. It’s the same thing. The only constant is change, right? You are getting older. You’re getting wiser. Maybe your family is growing.

Maybe you’ve changed jobs. Maybe your manager left and now you have a new manager. Like there’s so many things that are out of your control, but the one thing that you know for sure is that change is going to happen. So whatever change you are having a difficult time accepting at this moment, I want to help give you a few tips to manage.

The anxiety around change. The first thing I want you to know is just acknowledge that there’s nothing wrong with you for resisting change. Okay? There is nothing wrong with you for resisting change. Change is scary. Let’s validate that. Let’s look at many examples in your life when you’ve had to go through change and how at the beginning it felt very scary.

Okay? The next thing we’re going to do is we’re going to think about moments in your life when you’ve gone through change. And you have evidence that you survived that change. Maybe it was Getting a promotion, and that was a big change that felt really scary, but then you ended up killing it in that promotion.

Or, maybe you were attending a specific school, and then you transferred over to another school, and you found friends, right? Like, yeah, you had to let go of your old friends, but you found new friends. Or maybe you, decided to start your business and it was really scary to start the business and there were so many different changes, but now you’re working with your dream clients and you feel very fulfilled.

And that change has brought really beautiful things, right? Maybe you went from not having any kids to having kids. And that was a. big scary change, but now on the other side of having your child, now you found this fulfillment and love that you’ve never felt before. So quickly to recap those, the first one is Validate that your change is scary and moments when you have felt scared during change.

And then secondly, it is let’s find examples of when you have thrived after change, even if it was scary. One quick side note before I continue to share more about the tips is. I actually was scrolling on Instagram as as we do, I’ve been trying to do a little bit less of that and I came across a quote that really stood out to me so much so that I actually added it to my 2024 vision board.

And the quote is, when nothing is certain, anything is possible. And I really sat and thought about that and I pondered on that statement because it’s so true, right? If just imagine. If you want certainty and you get certainty, let’s just imagine that you get the certainty that you’re looking for and you already knew what was going to happen.

Like, y’all, what is the point of living life then? If you already know, what’s going to happen? The thing is that we are creating our reality with the actions that we take, the thoughts that we think, the people that we surround ourselves with. Like, we, we are creators. And we can’t have certainty because if we have the certainty, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to create and this quote just encompasses that so much when nothing is certain, then anything is possible, like you could create anything that you want.

So. Let’s go back to the tips. I don’t, I almost forgot to share that quote and I meant to share it earlier. So the third tip is find an accountability buddy that you can talk to about the change you’re going through. Maybe they’re going through a similar change as well and help each other through it.

Community goes so far. It’s literally why Courage Driven Latina It’s such an amazing program because you have so many people going through a courage project with you, executing a courage project with you. And then last but not least, it’s remember that you have creative power. Remember that you can manifest.

Remember that you can create things. So the biggest advice I could give you around like manifesting or creation is The only thing that you can control is your thoughts, your actions, your reactions, right? You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control how it is that you react. So the last thing I want is, for those of you listening, to be like, How do you expect me to create my reality if I got a flat tire and now I can’t make it to the networking event that I wanted to make it to?

Like, yeah, it sucks that you got a flat tire. Right? But we can’t blame the flat tire. Let’s, how are you going to react to that, right? Are you going to pout and just go home? Or are you going to call a friend? Or call AAA Roadside Assistance if that’s something that you have. If you are in the States, you probably know what AAA Roadside Assistance is.

If you’re somewhere else, it is a service that comes and, can help just like replace your tire or tow your car. Things like that. So, how are you going to react to that? Like, yes, it does suck. But if you are then making yourself the victim of like, oh, this happened to me. Yeah. Like shit is gonna happen.

Shit’s gonna happen to you. We’re gonna have flat tires. We’re gonna have bad days. we’re not going to get accepted for a program that we applied to. We’re not going to get a job that we applied to. Maybe somebody is going to ghost us. Maybe we get broken up with, I mean, these things are going to happen.

But you are in control over how it is that you react. So the fourth tip is remember that you have creative power based on your actions and your thoughts and what it is that you do. I have an affirmation in my shower that says, I will not stress about what’s out of my control. And it’s just such a nice reminder because every time I’m taking a shower and I’m stressing about something, I think about, is this in my control or is it not?

And if it’s not in my control, it’s like, Get used to it, right? You know, like what’s the point? Why am I sitting there tripping about it if I literally cannot control it? So uncertainty is something that really comes up a lot in meditation. And when I really started getting into meditation, and if you don’t know this about me, I got into meditation when I became a yoga instructor and then meditation is what really got me into self-development.

I mean, I had always been into self-development, but meditation got me there. A little bit deeper and a big thing that I focused on in meditation, especially in 2020 with the uncertainty was how to navigate uncertainty. And I mean, you could look at the uncertainty with fear, or you could look at the uncertainty with excitement, right?

Like, Oh my gosh, I don’t know what’s going to happen. Anything can happen. And really, it’s all about how it is that you approach it. So I hope you enjoyed those four tips. On navigating change, even when it’s hard, and I will see you next week. Thank you so much for joining.