Ever opened the app excited to post — then saw someone else’s win and quietly closed it without sharing? That’s comparison. And it’s stopping more women from building their personal brand than a lack of talent ever will.

In this episode, Erika breaks down why comparison is biological (not a character flaw), and the reframe that changes everything: comparison isn’t a wound — it’s data pointing you toward what you actually want.

She also dismantles the three lies comparison tells you:

 – “They’re the expert, not me” (spoiler: in the age of AI, your lived experience beats expertise)

 – “Their life is interesting, mine’s boring” (you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to their highlight reel)

 – “I’m too late, it’s saturated” (97% of people only watch — the room is nearly empty)

Plus: the Spotlight shift that makes posting feel easy, how to break the scroll-compare-shrink loop, and why someone else’s win is proof yours is coming.

Mentioned in this episode:

🎙️ FREE LIVE TRAINING — Three Secrets to Grow 5,000 Followers in 90 Days — Wednesday, September 23rd, 5PM PST. Save your spot: https://theerikacruz.com/training
Come live and Erika will audit your hook on the spot — first 5 people only.

Transcript:

Have you ever opened social media excited to share something or ready to post something? Only to open the app and see somebody else’s win. Maybe somebody who’s just a little further along than you are, or maybe a bigger win than what you wanted to share. And suddenly you don’t feel like you can share the thing you want to share. You went from feeling excited to feeling silly or not good enough, so you just close the app and you don’t share. That is comparison.

Coming forward. And I want you to know that comparison on social media is something that is so, so normal because before social media, we would compare ourselves to people at school or on the street or at the store. And it really is something that is biological. It’s not something to feel ashamed of, right? Us as humans, we crave community. We need the connection.

It’s not a nice to have. We need it for survival. Because back in the day, if we did not fit into our community and we were not accepted in our tribe, then we were kicked out of the tribe and that meant death. So we literally affiliate not fitting in with death. It is a survival mechanism to fit in. And the way we know that we’re fitting in is through comparison.

And in this world of social media, it can be so easy to compare ourselves over and over and over. And I’ve been in the game for six years. I started off on TikTok and then I transitioned over to Instagram. I’ve had a podcast, and I have had my ups and downs. I’ve had moments when I was about to quit. So I feel like I’ve been through all of the waves that come with content creation. And if you are just getting started, I understand that it can feel like there is a big barrier to entry.

This podcast episode is for the person who knows they want to stop comparing themselves and actually start showing up. So, what I’m going to do is I’m going to take you through what has helped me and what I coach my clients through as well. So that way you aren’t spending all of your time on social media comparing yourself. But how you can actually use but how you can actually use comparison as a guiding as a guide for what it is that you want.

If you are new here, welcome to Chingona Revolution Podcast. My name is Erika Cruz, and I am your host. And I can’t wait for today’s podcast episode because I feel like no matter how long you’ve been on social media, comparison is something that has come up or maybe will continue to come up, right? Because we go through these different phases. So maybe at the beginning the comparison was just around followers, but then maybe it’s about my gosh, that person got engaged, or that person has a baby, and we can be happy for them and still feel that gut.

Feeling that kind of shame that we aren’t there yet, or almost this feeling of not feeling good enough. And that is what I want to talk about today. Because you are good enough, you are worthy. And somebody else’s win doesn’t mean that you can’t win. I have some older episodes about comparison because this is obviously something that’s come up a lot. But one thing that I want you to know about comparison before I take you through how help my clients and how I’ve helped myself to overcome comparison and still continue to show up.

You’re not comparing yourself to the person that has a life you don’t like. You aren’t looking at somebody that has no support, no money, that really can’t pursue their dreams or is completely overwhelmed and stressed out. You’re not looking at them and ask and saying, dang, I wish I had their life. You are typically looking at people that have a life that you desire. And what I want you to know and the reframe I want you to have around comparison is.

Is that comparison can equal clarity. A lot of times people come to me and they’re like, I just don’t know what I want. Well, look at what you’re comparing yourself to, and that will tell you what you want. For example, if I see that somebody launched a book, I may feel some comparison. That doesn’t mean I’m not happy for them, but I might feel, man, I want that too. And that is clarity. So if you can look at comparison rather than a bad thing and look at it as a guiding post that’s directing you towards your North Star and towards where it is that you want to go. Comparison can be a very valuable thing for us.

And the only time that comparison really starts to feel crappy is when we have the belief ourselves that it’s not possible for us. So if somebody landed a book deal or somebody grew 10,000 followers and you feel like you’re comparing yourself and you feel bad and you feel negative, it is simply because you don’t believe that’s possible for you. But one of the manifestation principles that I stand by is that what is Is that what is available for one person is available for everyone. In other words, if you see it in somebody else, it’s also possible for you. And I don’t say this to be this Toxic positivity person. I say this because it really is true. The fact that somebody else has it is evidence that you can also have it. Of course, we can take into consideration things like privilege or where people started, right? It may take you a little bit longer to do certain things, but I look at people in my industry and I’m like, wow, if people are still having seven-figure launches and they’re making a huge impact, I can do that too. There’s still people starting.

These nonprofits, and I’ve always wanted to have a nonprofit section of my business to be able to give back. That is possible for me. And even just having that thought of this is possible for me, now my brain is looking for ways to make that possible. And the thing about comparing ourselves to others on social media is that you are looking at people’s highlight reels. You really are. And I I love the shift that we are currently having on social media where people are sharing more of their flops and people are being a lot more honest, including myself.

And it is really a liberating and freeing thing. Even though I feel like I’ve always kind of done this on my Instagram stories, I’m now doing it more in my content. And even though I do consider myself an expert in many areas, I’m still human. And when I have shared my non-perfect times, that is when I get the most amount of comments. That is when people feel like, my gosh, I can relate to you because I’m struggling with that as well. Or thank you for sharing that that was your journey because I thought it was so easy for you. So we are going through this shift, but.

In general, social media is giving us this picture that people want us to see because they are in charge of what they upload. So we a lot of times are looking at people’s highlight reels, right? We’re seeing somebody have the viral reel. But did we see how many failed attempts they had beforehand? And I don’t even consider posting content failed attempt because I feel like you’re constantly learning. But did you see how many times they posted and maybe got very minimal views?

Or how many times they spent hours creating something and it never even made it out. Or let’s say for somebody who had a book deal, perhaps they spent years pitching their book and got rejected. And we don’t know that unless they have shared that with us. So when we are comparing ourselves to other people, we really are comparing our behind the scenes to their highlight reel because we don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. We only know what they share, and people aren’t sharing everything. Even now, right in my life.

I’m not sharing everything on social media because I also believe it’s important to decide what you are going to share and what you’re not going to share. And I’ve decided, which is I encourage you to do the same thing for yourself. I have decided that anything I’m still actively working through that feels painful in that moment is not for other people to be a part of. I want to process it on my own. And once I’m on the other side and I have a lesson from it or I want to share it, then I can do that. But let’s say I’m going through a really difficult time right now.

Unless it directly is about content or my business, which are the areas I’ve decided to overshare about. But let’s say I’m going through a hard time in my family. I’m not gonna go talk about my my family matters because I’m still working through that and I don’t need other people’s opinions about it. So you get to decide what it is that you are vulnerable about and what you are not, right? So even if somebody, I don’t know, let’s say did have a big win, but They’re in the middle of maybe going through a divorce behind the scenes, right? We don’t know what is going on. And we don’t know how many times they’ve tried before they had this one win. All we are seeing is what they are putting out. And social media is not the full picture.

And if seeing other people have these wins makes you feel like you are insecure or feeling ungrateful, I want you to know that you are human and this environment is kind of design it’s kind of designed to make you feel behind, not intentionally, right? But if people are just constantly sharing their wins on social media or If you’re running a business, yeah, you’re supposed to share your wins. You’re supposed to share your client results.

So not only do I hear from my clients and from others that they have a hard time comparing themselves from a lifestyle perspective, their ability to travel, the ideal relationship.

The ones that I want to focus on today are the ones that stop you from building your own personal brand and creating content because you feel like other people are already there taking up space and there’s not enough space for you. So these are the objections I hear often. They are experts and I’m not. So maybe you are looking at somebody who’s giving advice and you’re like, but but they have been creating content for five years, or they are a therapist.

Or they are X, and Z.

I don’t know where we began to believe that we need to be experts in order to create content on social media because we have seen over and over, especially in the last year or so, that people are completely blowing up by just sharing their journey. For example, there’s a girl that I just found yesterday, and she has an F around F Around and Find Out series. So it’s all about her documenting her journey of Asking for things and documenting whether she’s getting them or not. And she ended up getting this free stand in Airbnb. She ended up getting, she was in conversations with a brand deal. She spoke to a few publishers about a book deal. And she is not an expert. She’s literally just documenting her journey. Or Jesse Jean, who was not necessarily an expert in yapping. She had some experience running a business. She had some experience from working at a radio station or at a news station when she was in college, I believe.

And she made $7 million by just kind of sharing her journey of yapping and then showing other people how she did it. But she didn’t start off as an expert. So this idea that you need to be an expert is not the case at all. What you need is to be human and you need to be able to communicate the experience you are having because others will relate to that way more than an expert, especially in the world of AI where anybody can Google the facts.

They don’t need your expertise. What they need is your lived experience. They need your opinion, your edge, not your expertise. Of course, if you are an expert, bring your expertise, but also bring your lived experience in it. So I want you to get that out of your mind of I can’t create content because I’m not an expert yet.

There’s not a people think, yeah, once I get this certification or another degree, then I’m going to feel confident. And I hate to break it to you, but I’ve had many clients that have gone through certifications, that have gone through more degrees, and they’re like, yeah, I’m going to start showing up after that. Because once I get this piece of paper that says I’m qualified, I’m going to be able to show up. And I guarantee you, I will bet you my life savings that that is not what happens. You’re still scared. So why not just start now?

If you are in the middle of getting your degree, great. If you’re in the middle of doing a certification, great. Do not wait until you’re done with that. Because if you do, there’s no magic switch that suddenly makes you feel confident. The confidence comes from action, it comes from doing. So get that out of your mind that you have to be an expert. You are an expert in your lived experience, and that is enough to bring a ton of value to somebody else. Here’s what I say to my clients all the time imagine that you met yourself three or five years ago.

What would you tell her? You would have so much wisdom to share with her. So why not do that with your audience as well? Another objection that I hear a lot is, but their lives are so interesting and mine is just so boring. And you are comparing your behind the scenes again to their highlight reel because your life is not boring. It’s not that your content isn’t interesting. It’s simply that you haven’t learned how to.

Just make those most ordinary moments be told with meaning. And that comes with learning how to create content. Because be really being able to call out the mundane moments of your experience are going to be a highlight reel every time. When I see on my feed and people are just doing all these expensive, glamorous things, yeah, it might, I might have the thought, yeah, that must be nice. But I’m not immediately like, let me go follow that person. No, not at all.

But as soon as somebody’s talking about a real experience, for example, the guilt of wanting more as a daughter of immigrants or something that really is resonating with me, that is an instant follow. So it is not that your life is not interesting or their life is interesting and yours is boring. It’s simply that we haven’t yet identified what stories you want to tell and what ordinary moments connect you to other people.

I bet you the feelings that you are currently having at your job is something that resonates with so many people. Think about the conversations you have with your friends. You’re not calling your friends and being like, my gosh, guess what, girl? I just made $50,000 today and then I did this and then I did that.

Can you imagine if that was the case? No, you’re calling and you’re gonna be like, I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’m getting really irritated with work because this and this and this. And those are the moments that as long as you tell them, as long as you understand the content formats that work, as long as you understand how to create a good hook and tell that story, that is what blows up. That is what goes viral, and that is what resonates the most with people and what builds trust.

And people are like, I have to follow this person. The third thing that I hear a lot is, but they’ve been doing it for so long and it was still early when they did it. And now the market’s saturated. I’m just too late. And that is the biggest lie of all. Because the data says that of the 90, of the of all the people online, only 97. I’m sorry. Because the data says that of all the people who are online on social media, 97% of people only watch.

And 3% ever create. So it’s not crowded, it’s actually nearly empty. And you’re not late. You’re actually early because the creator economy is only going to keep growing and growing and growing. And you we need more people who look like you, sound like you, have your lived experience, and it’s not too late. So get that out of your mind. Again, if you think you need to be an expert, that’s not true. If you don’t think your life is interesting, That’s not true either. Your life is very interesting, especially to the people who are a few steps behind you, and you always have something to to give and something to serve others with. And it’s not too late. Not at all.

And if you’re listening And if you are listening to this and you were wondering, okay, Erika, but how in the world am I supposed to do this? I don’t even know where to start. Then I invite you to join us because I am hosting a free training. It’s happening on the 23rd of September. It’s all about the three secrets to grow 5,000 followers and how you can do it without spending hours creating. So I’m really pulling back the curtains on what worked for me because last year I was losing hundreds of followers a week. A week, y’all.

And this year I’ve grown over 18,000 followers and I’ve just been getting opportunities left and right. So I’m going to tell you what is no longer working and what is working today. Okay, let’s continue on with the episode. So the other thing that I want you to do is I need you to turn the spotlight around. The reason comparison hurts so much is because when we are creating, we’re focused on us. How do we look? How do we sound?

How do I measure up? my gosh, what if they saw this other person’s video first? They’re gonna think I’m not smart enough. And I need you to take the spotlight off of yourself and put it on the person that you want to serve. That is the fastest way to overcome being consumed by comparison because you’re so much more focused on service rather than your own vanity metrics. And mission-driven motivation is the Biggest level of motivation that you will experience, you are less likely to give up when you have a bigger purpose. The other thing, I mentioned this earlier about how let comparison point you in the right direction instead of stopping you. Comparison really can be a great form of data instead of a wound. It can be the thing that shows you what you actually want. So it’s like, how can you admire what somebody’s doing and Even just add it to your vision board and being like, okay, wait. I’m triggered a little bit by this. I I feel some comparison coming up. I must want this. Let me go journal about what it is I want. Let me add this to my vision board. Let me start to really create what that would look like. I want to write a book. What would it be about? my gosh, let’s write down some ideas. And do you see how we could switch that comparison and that feeling of not being enough to inspiration and to clarity to create something else?

The next kind of shift I want you to think of is we tend to compare ourselves when we are overconsuming. So what happens is you stop posting, you are scrolling instead. Somebody’s scrolling means that more people are on your feed, and then more people for you to compare yourself to, and then you feel worse, and then you post even less. So it ends up being this loop.

Of consumption, whenever you’re so focused on comparison. And the way out is action. Sometimes I literally have to put my phone in a different room, and I do have to create content either on Canva or on a different app, like the Edits app, or I’ll message somebody and be like, hey, please hold me accountable. Here’s exactly what I want to do. And that’s something that we do inside my program as well. We have accountability buddies, we also have specific structure. And you’ll learn more about it if you go to the free training.

I’ll take you through the free training and at the end I’ll tell you about the program in case you vibe with me and like what I’m teaching and want to work with me. No pressure at all. So the way out really is action. You cannot scroll your way out of comparison. You’re going to stay in more comparison when you keep doing that.

What I will leave you with is that comparison is telling you a lie. And that lie is that there’s not enough room for you and that you can’t have the thing. And that’s not true. We live in such an abundant world that just because one person’s video went viral does not mean your video won’t go viral. Just because somebody followed one person doesn’t mean they’re not going to follow you. There’s not a rule that says you can only follow 50 people or 100 people. People are going to follow the people they vibe with.

So I don’t want you to think that just because somebody wins, you lose. That’s definitely not the case. Remember, you don’t have to be an expert. Sharing your progress is even more valuable. You’re definitely not too late. The creator economy is only booming and growing more and more and more. And your life is so interesting. I mean, we literally will watch people clean in their videos.

You don’t think your life lessons are interesting enough to to give back to somebody else? Of course they are. So if you want to learn exactly how to put all this together, I will see you at my free training on Sep 23rd. Sign up here. I hope you enjoyed this podcast episode and I will see you in the next one.